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For those who get a chuckle from kitten antics...

My mom sent me this little story.  Being a woman, I thought it was hilarious, but if I was a man, I probably wouldn't have thought this story was too funny.

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can
top this one:
>
> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
>
> On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because
the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned th at I h ad
sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.
By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top
of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
> Initially, the new acquisition was no problem
> .
>
> Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard
my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
>
> "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
>
> "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
>
> "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second."
>
> So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent
outraged nudit y would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
extremely cowardly.
>
> Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to
find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
>
> It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing
metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling
objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner
and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I
was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged
them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly
bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full
weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
>
> Wild animals are sometimes fa ced wi th a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet
bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
>
> The impact knocked me out cold.
>
> When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there
are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the
kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that"
paramedics.
> Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were
all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to
suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
>
> Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it
back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming i t was too painful to talk about,
which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
> If they only knew!
>
> Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

  ;D :-D I am sorry.  Oh, this was funny.  Still sorry.

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sounds painful.

granted, i have no understanding of "masculine pains" but if i was a dude, i would totally tell that story.

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sounds painful.

granted, i have no understanding of "masculine pains" but if i was a dude, i would totally tell that story.

Your profile says you are male.  I always thought you were a lady, though!  Are you a "Little Britain"-type lady?  If you've seen that series you get the joke.  >:D

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lololol  :-D

i think its funny.. its pretty hard to actually make me laugh out loud.. but you have succeeded heheh.. made my husband laugh pretty hard too.. im totally sending this to my grandpa.. he forwards me stuff all the time.. now its time for payback ;)

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sounds painful.

granted, i have no understanding of "masculine pains" but if i was a dude, i would totally tell that story.

Your profile says you are male.  I always thought you were a lady, though!  Are you a "Little Britain"-type lady?  If you've seen that series you get the joke.  >:D

good point. i should say IF I HAD NUTS

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