The Moratorium Auditorium: In Which We Unite In Shunning Inadequacy
Posted by KissMeKate on Jan 25, 2009 · Member since Aug 2007 · 7322 posts
Crossover from the open letters thread!
Represent.
:-*
The World's Largest Collection of Vegetarian Recipes
OK. I'm no stats expert anyway, but I have a basic working knowledge. Beeps is our stats expert.
Where is she? She should get her vegan behind up in here! Even if she doesn't want to play along.
Unfortunately my macro skills are of no use for this project are useless. Microsoft discontinued macro support for Excel with the Microsoft Office for Mac (I hate you Microsoft). Not too sure logging into my work computer and using Excel there would be very appropriate. I can, however, see if I can find my eViews disc! Also, you may be able to run regressions in SQL (not positive about that), or use the open-source R program. By the end of the night I'll find one to work.
Unfortunately my macro skills are of no use for this project are useless. Microsoft discontinued macro support for Excel with the Microsoft Office for Mac (I hate you Microsoft). Not too sure logging into my work computer and using Excel there would be very appropriate. I can, however, see if I can find my eViews disc! Also, you may be able to run regressions in SQL (not positive about that), or use the open-source R program. By the end of the night I'll find one to work.
I have a Mac, so I happily unfortunately have to also opt out of this whole happy Excel project. I am glad that MDV and KMK have this in the bag.
Foofie! You didn't answer the follow-up questions about what classifies as a date. Get back here!
Seriously, Foofie... how could you?! Waiting in suspense...
this has become the most tame thread eva.
this has become the most tame thread eva.
Because we are angels. Celibate angels.
Shit, it has! We're talking about Excel! Could we be less sexy?
And by less sexy I mean....we're REALLY FRIGGIN SEXY.
A "date" can be defined as anything you choose appropriate. Since the ultimate goal of FROF is to get to know an individual to ensure their adequacy there is no reason that a non visual meeting could not count as a "date". As long as you feel excited, invigorated, butterflies all over feeling after words. Time limits are hard to set. For example I could meet a girl go watch that Benjamin Button movie for 3 hours and leave. Society would call that a "date". To me that's sitting next to someone for 3 hours. Unless they talk through the whole movie about screenwriting or leave halfway through because of economic incentives to not finish the movie. So, there really is no strict criteria for what is considered a "date".
A "date" can be defined as anything you choose appropriate.
So, there really is no strict criteria for what is considered a "date".
I need more strict criteria. I flourish with rules.
As long as you feel excited, invigorated, butterflies all over feeling after words.
See, I would take this and just talk to someone on the phone 3 of the 4 times and then rush into sex. I think this is my problem. I think I need 4 "real" going out dates. I need to be more vigilant (although that word stirs up negative emotions in me... for some reason...) ;)
Haha, I'm so lost on the FROF guidelines, but I will gladly, earnestly make an Excel program to the best of my ability if I can piece it together from what's here. Not kidding.
Haha, I'm so lost on the FROF guidelines, but I will gladly, earnestly make an Excel program to the best of my ability if I can piece it together from what's here. Not kidding.
Yes! Maybe a visual representation of FROF will help clear the air.
A "date" can be defined as anything you choose appropriate. Since the ultimate goal of FROF is to get to know an individual to ensure their adequacy there is no reason that a non visual meeting could not count as a "date". As long as you feel excited, invigorated, butterflies all over feeling after words. Time limits are hard to set. For example I could meet a girl go watch that Benjamin Button movie for 3 hours and leave. Society would call that a "date". To me that's sitting next to someone for 3 hours. Unless they talk through the whole movie about screenwriting or leave halfway through because of economic incentives to not finish the movie. So, there really is no strict criteria for what is considered a "date".
Yeah, but if we met and watched Synechdoche, NY and then went to a cafe and then out to eat and then walked around the neighborhood it counts as an awesome 7 hour date. I've had two more since that. One more to go!! Or maybe even more tame dates. who knows....
Haha, I'm so lost on the FROF guidelines, but I will gladly, earnestly make an Excel program to the best of my ability if I can piece it together from what's here. Not kidding.
Yes! Maybe a visual representation of FROF will help clear the air.
Do you offer a three day, hands-on intensive seminar? I'd like to sign up.
Oh, you are too witty, my dear.
8-)
I just reread that and realized how it sounded the second time around. I was going to edit it, but what the hell, we're in the auditorium. It stays, as does the preceding comma splice.
WE MAKE OUR OWN RULES-- WE HAVE NO RULES!
We are heathen badasses.
Okay. I feel better.
Really, that's all that matters. And I'm not being sarcastic. The moratorium rocks. Congrats on the GPA, smarty pants. I love being smart. You know what else? I like that I can own that I am smart and not feel bad about it or downplay it or pretend like I'm not. I am. And I am not trying to sound stuck up-- I'm proud. This thread is about empowerment, as well, no?
Okay, I gotta say it.
Your guys with the FROF or whatever thingers... you got it better than I do. I thought the "at least engaged" was a good enough stipulation. WRONG. Four and a half YEARS (not dates) later, we're living together, not engaged (why not?!), and somehow we're both sticking to that agreement.
I know that says he's a swell guy, very respectful, and that we have tons of other stuff going for us in our relationship. I just dunno what it says about me. Stubborn? Jaded? Low sex drive? Stupid?
I'm going for the last one. Four really good dates? More than four years?
I'm a dumbass.
???
You're not a dumbass, JC. You've obviously found something that works for you and you're in love. Love conquers all, JC.
I agree whole heartily that you MUST have something to talk about with another person. That said, I have known girls who were very intelligent and bored me senseless. The illogical truth is, sometimes we're drawn to people because of inherent, tender feelings that only they can touch. I remember the last time I could say I was "in love" and remember the moment vividly. I was cooking dinner for her, was about to say something and realized she suddenly wasn't in the room anymore. So, I dropped what I was doing, walked into the living room and there she was on the sofa, holding my cat, talking to him with this big smile on her face. I knew that she loved animals but there was something about that image that stays with me to this day. We can set standards, expectations, have a certain look we like, establish unequivocal boundries for sexual activity, etc...but the in the end, it's the intangibles that will often attract us. So confusing, so intriguing... :)>>>
(((DanaJames)))
I like your post and your way of thinking.
I just caught up on like 4 pages here & now I forgot what I was going to write. This thread is cool though.
mdvegan, can you go over to the everything pet thread? my cat has a problem and I thought as our resident cat lady you might have some insight.
Ok, here’s my real contribution to this thread. (I was supposed to have field work today, but the weather didn’t cooperate, so I’m sure everyone will hear a lot from me today)
I think too many people, both consciously & subconsciously, equate sex with love, or at least affection. This is why I support your moratorium. Even if someone thinks, “oh it’s just sex, it’s no big deal, I can handle it”, sex does complicate things because feelings do get attached once it is thrown into a relationship, even when you don’t realize it.
Personal anecdote: At the same time that my first serious relationship started imploding, we also started having sex less frequently. I told myself that my sex drive must just be higher than his and, with this rationale, I cheated on him. (There is never any good reason to cheat and I don’t agree with it now, just so everyone knows that) Looking back on it, what I was really looking for was the attention and affection that I wasn’t getting at home anymore. I really just wanted someone to make me feel like I was attractive and to be nice to me. Obviously that relationship didn’t last.
Flash forward to my current relationship. Of course, in the beginning, we were doing it like rabbits. A couple years into the relationship, he had to have a surgery that left him incapable for a while. Of course I missed the sex a little, but it because it was a solid, healthy relationship that was based on more than just sex; it wasn’t a big deal at all. We were still affectionate to each other, and mindful of each other’s feelings and needs. I think that time actually strengthened our relationship in the long run.
So I guess my point here is that good relationships should be based more on friendship than on physical attraction and I think the moratorium is great. It will give you a chance to develop a real relationship with the other person before complicating things with the physical aspect of it.
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