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TMI Challenge

So we always say that there is no such thing as TMI on vegweb.

I dare someone to come up with something that is, in fact, TMI for this forum.

My bets are on lubi or CK ftw.

The winner gets a box of prizes from KMK.  F'reals.
Extra points for humor and/or sex.

I MIGHT be taking this too far, but....

Sure Ill wash the toy, but I think the napkin is truly sanitary at this point (no pun intended) as it did go through the wash and dryer...

This is like my favorite thing ever.  :)>>>

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Zeal - What's that drawing in the background?

Its a painting I made with Zoe (my bff) Note the fetus in the upper right hand corner. :)>>> Not sure why its there but it was funny cause I did those people in the bottom to resemble struggling people in the womb of the world and she glued a fetus up top (this painting was not done to represent anything and we were not looking at each others work as we did it...we each started on one end and met in the middle.

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so i'm guessing TMI = "gross nasty stuff?"

humm. once my ex and i got high and i was eating those "nerds" candies. but they all looked like different kinds of animals/things to me so i couldn't eat them. i started lining them up on the coffee table. the next morning i could still remember what each of them were but i couldn't see it anymore.

when i get drunk, i try to take boys home with me. it was one of the reasons i stopped drinking (not that i ever was a big drinker, but still)

that is less TMI vs "stuff you didn't know about beeps"

you know, i really don't think there is anything TMI on here. unless its like "not vegan" but that's a different story. we really talk about it all.

wait, have we talked about anal sex? humm?

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I love those stories, bp!  Especially with the nerds!  So funny!

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This thread cracks me up!  :-D
I'll try to think of something TMI, but I don't know if I can compete with what's already here.

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VHZ pretty much made my day here.  But there's still lots of room for more!

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ok, you guys have heard alot of my bad stories, but a few come to mind......one time many years ago, my bf was um....going down and he found a wad of toilet paper inside me.......
same bf and I were horny and both of us lived with our parents(high school age), I was on my period, so we got one of his moms towels and went to the park. did it in the car and threw the bloody towel outside. 
and......when I first started my period I was really embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know so I would take the dirty pads, roll them in toilet paper and hide them in my dresser drawer.  My mom found them(probably from the stench) several months later!

ok......I'll think of more, I'm sure

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ok, you guys have heard alot of my bad stories, but a few come to mind......one time many years ago, my bf was um....going down and he found a wad of toilet paper inside me.......

I really cannot get over this.  I wish I had a video of me laughing right now.  It's absurd/embarrassing.

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.....when I first started my period I was really embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know so I would take the dirty pads, roll them in toilet paper and hide them in my dresser drawer.  My mom found them(probably from the stench) several months later!

Ohhhhh gosh I lost it here.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahahaaaa.

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wait, have we talked about anal sex? humm?

Nah, we haven't!  Good call!  Anyone?

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If I ever get laid off I'm going to start a thread dedicated to the tmi of my life.

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I sort of mentioned this in the Diva Club thread, but.... here we go:

I will forever associate The Dark Knight with the first day (since getting the Diva) I've leaked period-ness in epic volumes.

the month was July, I had been off birth control for a month, and TDK had just come out in theaters...naturally Shane and some of his friends and I decided to see it on the big screen. I was "on the cup" aka having my period at the time, and that day I decided to wear JEANS along with my diva and no panties. I rarely wear underwear, You see, even when bleedin'. the Diva usually lets me do that, for hours and hours on end, with no trouble.

of course, I'm sitting in the dark theater, my butt in a seat for so long that I can barely feel it, and anxiously glued (figuratively) to the seat the whole time because of the rockin' flick on the screen........at the end, I get up to leave, and begin to feel the warmth on my butt and down my thighs. "couldn't possibly be blood; that's just my legs waking up from sitting so long..." so I thought. the crowded theater took ages to clear out, and I was in a tight crowd attempting to shuffle out the door to get to the restroom to check my pants.......

I wish I'd takn a photo of those pants. SO. MUCH. BLOOD.
all over the front/crotch/legs of my pants.

to make matters worse, when I got into the bathroom stall, I realized that I had nothing on me to cover up...no purse, extra shirt, etc....and the blood was almost down to my knee on the left leg. So, after the bathroom cleared, I took a section of paper towel and held it in front of my crotch/legs ever-so-casually as I walked out the bathroom and to the exit doors.
OF COURSE, Shane was outside with our friends, and I couldn't just leave to get him and express my eh, dilemma to him. Luckily, he did have his messenger bag, so after signaling for him to come inside, he finally came in (after a few excruciating minutes) and I got him to pass me his bag.

We walked the half hour in the summer heat and burning sunlight, my pants bloody and sticky, to his mom's house. the Diva was being tricky that day, and wouldn't seal right, so I kept on bleeding into my pants (through a layer of paper towel I had put down there) while We walked.
FINALLY We arrived at his mom's place, where I promptly went downstairs, removed my pants, put them into a sink full of cold water, and showered. luckily the pants came out perfectly unstained after a good pre-treatng and washing...

...but I can't say the same for that poor tea towel I had to ruin the very next month while at work....at my construction job...which was only my second day there/knowing my boss...

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Since we're on a theme here....one time, several years ago, I was near the end of my period and wearing a pad. I was in the kitchen, I think walking through it to go into my bedroom, I was wearing shorts and the pad FELL OUT!! And with my luck my dad was standing there. I don't know if I picked it up right away or if I just ran into my room, but yeah...

omg this totally made me laugh!!!  :-D

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KMK! I was totally thinking about making this thread last night. Seriously. I was thinking, "God there's a lot of TMI on VegWeb, we should condense the horror into one thread". And then you did it.

Madam, I salute you  ;D

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I was an exchange student in Germany when I was 17.  My host mother didn't speak English, and this was the first month, so I spoke barely any. 

She motions for me to come downstairs with her.  She shows me how to scrub the crotch of my underwear with soap.  So now I think I have to "pre-treat" all of my underwear.  I start saving my dirty underwear in my closet, my thinking was that I would wait til I was home by myself and scrub it all at once.  I was too embarrassed by the whole thing.  A bit uptight.

Anyway, I had some problems with this family, i.e. locking me in the house, telling me they couldn't trust me because all American teenage girls went and got pregnant, and on and on.  There are too many stories there.

But the mother felt compelled to look through my things.  And finds all of the underwear, probably a week's worth (or maybe more!).  And doesn't say anything to me, just takes them all downstairs.  Precedes to tell my two host sisters and host father at the dinner table, where apparently they all had a great laugh at my expense.  I, unfortunately, didn't understand any of this.

My evil host sister told me about it a few days later.  Pretty much called me a filthy American.  And then was kind enough to explain to me that her mother was only showing me how to wash out my underwear if it was bloody.

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I had a HORRIBLE clogged milk duct in my boob the other night. This is a very painful experience that makes one wish she was dead. It feels like the boob weighs about 10 pounds and is about to explode.

My dear husband tried to help me unplug the duct by placing my entire boob in his mouth, while I was hanging it over his face, and sucking as hard as he could, while swallowing some milk that was not plugged.

What a great guy I have. I am lucky. It didn't work.

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I can think of several..things, but I'll start with just one. It's almost similar to one of dear lubi's.

When I was about 10 (yes, really..it didn't just happen like yesterday or something), I used to have problems leaving poop on my panties (like skid marks, I guess), and my mom would get "mad" when she found them in the laundry. So, I started hiding them in my closet. I had this one toy giant picnic basket thing, and I remember hiding poop panties in that. I dunno whatever happened with it..

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Quote:
I used to have problems leaving poop on my panties (like skid marks, I guess

I had this problem.  My mom called them skunk stripes.

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I had a yeast infection the other day.
I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when the shaft of my penis and my balls are peeling dead skin.

Do you need my address now or...?

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Quote:
I used to have problems leaving poop on my panties (like skid marks, I guess

I had this problem.  My mom called them skunk stripes.

My sister had this problem too - but not me.  ;)

Hello everyone!

Once, on a school overnight field trip (I think it was in grade 9), I peed my pants - how I managed that in grade 9, well I don't know. I was away from our luggage, didn't know what to do... but fortunately my pants were safe. So I tossed my undies into the garbage, and went on my way. Not really TMI, but that's the best I can do. No crazy sex or poop stories, or sex and poop stories.

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