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Buying something non-vegan

I'm just wondering how other people feel about this...is it ok to buy things that you know aren't vegan? 

My sister has a birthday coming up next week and she lives in San Fran (while I'm in St. Louis).  I really want to have some cupcakes made for her but she is not a vegan and wants the "real deal".  I've looked some places up but haven't ordered yet.  I'd rather support a local vegan bakery but I want to give my sister what she wants too.  I'm conflicted here...

Has she ever had a vegan cupcake?  They taste EXACTLY the same. 

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Has she ever had a vegan cupcake?  They taste EXACTLY the same. 

I'm with you on that one, and yes, she has eaten my vegan cupcakes before with very high praise.  But the last time I visited her (about a month ago), we went to this restaurant called Herbivore and she kept talking about how you can't replace animal products easily and claims that it's always noticeable.  She took one bite of her food and wouldn't eat the rest.  I was highly annoyed but I ate my meal with a smile.  My family seems to think that ordering her vegan cupcakes for HER birthday is a way for me to push my beliefs, they suggested that I get her exactly what she wants.  I don't see why it can't be both ways!!

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Order what she wants.  It'd be the same as your taking her out to lunch for her birthday and her ordering an omni meal.  Question #1:  Does your sister really care if she gets omni/vegan cupcakes, or is it your mom who's being rigid and biased?  Question #2:  Will you take me to Herbivore with you next time instead?  I've never been.

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I know I might get something thown at me, but I think you should buy here omni cupcakes. It's her day, you're not there, and it's what she would prefer. It would be the same thing as if your family bought you a leather handbag or omni cupcakes because it's what THEY like and agree with.

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we went to this restaurant called Herbivore ...

Herbivore is owned by a bunch of omnis.  >:(

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I can see the point of what others have said, it is her birthday and thus should be what she wants.  However, I know I personally have a very hard time feeling ok with buying a non-vegan gift.  Perhaps you can just get her something else instead that she definitely will like and that other's won't perceive as you trying to convert her?  You know, some product that is naturally vegan?

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I might catch hell for this, but i buy, and prepare, unvegan foods for my parents quite often.

My mother has ovarian cancer, and my father Parkinson's.  I used to only serve vegan food.  They were nice about it.  But eventually they said something.

My parents are already sick.  I know that a vegan diet would be better for them.  But the possibility is there that my mother could be gone in 2 weeks.  And my father could be in a nursing home.  At what point do I tell them that I will not make them what they want?  They are already breaking my heart.  And I grew up in the tradition of "food is love".  I live to make them happy. Actually, I do not know why I am even stating this on here.  Maybe I am just stressed and needed to vent.

Sorry, y'all.  Thanks for "listening".

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I live to make them happy.

You're making the rest of us children look bad.

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the urban housewife sells her cupcakes in sf now.

look up

www.theurbanhousewife.com

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I might catch hell for this, but i buy, and prepare, unvegan foods for my parents quite often.

My mother has ovarian cancer, and my father Parkinson's.  I used to only serve vegan food.  They were nice about it.  But eventually they said something.

My parents are already sick.  I know that a vegan diet would be better for them.  But the possibility is there that my mother could be gone in 2 weeks.  And my father could be in a nursing home.  At what point do I tell them that I will not make them what they want?  They are already breaking my heart.  And I grew up in the tradition of "food is love".  I live to make them happy. Actually, I do not know why I am even stating this on here.  Maybe I am just stressed and needed to vent.

Sorry, y'all.  Thanks for "listening".

Sprinkles, I"m sorry you're going through so much. I agree wholeheartedly with you. There are times and places to stick to your beliefs, and times and places to follow other wishes, even if they go against your own.

Icephrosty, I'm not sure if your sis's birthday falls under one of those "follow other wishes" times for you. And I agree with LMT--is there another great gift to get her that's already vegan? I fall with the group that says that omni cupcakes are okay here, but if you're not okay with it then perhaps there's another compromise.

I don't know. Growing up I was told over and over again that even announcing that something was vegetarian was "pushing my agenda." I'm starting to regret not sticking up for myself more all those years. My parents have no problem with flaunting when they make the "sacrifice" of not including chicken stock in their tomato soup at dinner, but if I do it? That's a whole different story. Now DH and I do thanksgiving on our own, and given our distance will start doing Christmas on our own. He doesn't look strangely at my acorn squash main dish :)

--end rant--

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I definitely wouldn't make her non vegan cupcakes, but I would buy them.  I follow my own set of rules, and try not to push them on others, well ok, I try.....but sometimes it doesn't work!

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Order what she wants.  It'd be the same as your taking her out to lunch for her birthday and her ordering an omni meal.  Question #1:  Does your sister really care if she gets omni/vegan cupcakes, or is it your mom who's being rigid and biased?  Question #2:  Will you take me to Herbivore with you next time instead?  I've never been.

Of course I'd take you HH  :)  I'd rather have a companion who actually wants to eat there!!  I didn't know it was owned by omni's, but I still liked the food. 

Thanks to everyone for your opinions, I really appreciate the help.  My sister is just really hard to buy for...she's one of those people who already has everything.  Since she just moved to CA and doesn't really know anyone, I wanted to make her feel loved.  She has a big sweet tooth, so I know she'd like the idea...plus, everyone deserves some kind of cake on their bday  :)  I found a "natural" bakery near her apartment and I may order from there.  It isn't vegan, but they use organic and natural ingredients that are fresh and local.  At least I'd feel slightly better about the situation.  I'll wow my family with vegan desserts over the holiday season...I'll pull out all the stops and maybe then they'll have a better appreciation.

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Yes, buy her what she wants.  I don't like it when other people impose and enforce their morality on me, so I don't do it to other people.  If we have a cookout, and people want to bring their own meat to grill, fine by me.  I won't provide it, or grill it, and they use a special grate, but if that's what they want they live with that choice.  Same reason I don't buy veg'n food for my companion animals; they haven't made the choice I have.

And I know - you are making a non-veg'n purchase, and dollars speak volumes.  But come on; there's a blood line on anything we acquire through production or capitalism.  Those nice cotton shirts?  You think rabbits weren't killed when the cotton was harvested?  Snakes?  That mice weren't caught in the combine?  That the fields don't displace whole ecosystems of animal and plant life?  Everything we purchase kills.  And that's the world we live in.  We can lessen that impact, but not (easily) erase it.

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You're on, icephrosty.  I'll meet you there for dinner tonight.  It's a seven hour drive for me, so I might be a little late.  If the waiter comes, please order me a mimosa.  Thanks.

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I might catch hell for this, but i buy, and prepare, unvegan foods for my parents quite often.

My mother has ovarian cancer, and my father Parkinson's.  I used to only serve vegan food.  They were nice about it.  But eventually they said something.

My parents are already sick.  I know that a vegan diet would be better for them.  But the possibility is there that my mother could be gone in 2 weeks.  And my father could be in a nursing home.  At what point do I tell them that I will not make them what they want?  They are already breaking my heart.  And I grew up in the tradition of "food is love".  I live to make them happy. Actually, I do not know why I am even stating this on here.  Maybe I am just stressed and needed to vent.

Sorry, y'all.  Thanks for "listening".

:'( :'( :'(

I wish you and your family the best. Good luck and take care  :flower: :flower2: :flower: :flower2:

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But come on; there's a blood line on anything we acquire through production or capitalism.  Those nice cotton shirts?  You think rabbits weren't killed when the cotton was harvested?  Snakes?  That mice weren't caught in the combine?  That the fields don't displace whole ecosystems of animal and plant life?  Everything we purchase kills.  And that's the world we live in.  We can lessen that impact, but not (easily) erase it.

This sounds pretty much exactly like Omnivore's Stock Argument Against Vegans #29.

Just sayin'

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I might catch hell for this, but i buy, and prepare, unvegan foods for my parents quite often.

My mother has ovarian cancer, and my father Parkinson's.  I used to only serve vegan food.  They were nice about it.  But eventually they said something.

My parents are already sick.  I know that a vegan diet would be better for them.  But the possibility is there that my mother could be gone in 2 weeks.  And my father could be in a nursing home.  At what point do I tell them that I will not make them what they want?  They are already breaking my heart.  And I grew up in the tradition of "food is love".  I live to make them happy. Actually, I do not know why I am even stating this on here.  Maybe I am just stressed and needed to vent.

Sorry, y'all.  Thanks for "listening".

Sprinkles - *hugs*  You seem like a very loving person and daughter.  I know you don't know me, but if you ever need someone to vent to, I'm a good listener.   

I was pretty pushy with my parents and brother for awhile with their diets.  I think it was a way for me to cope with them being sick.  I thought maybe if I could control this part of their lives, I could magically make things better.  It took me a little while to realize that all it did was stress me out, and them as well.  I'm slowly learning to take a step back from things.  and now that I've let off, my mom's been very curious and asks me to cook some vegan meals for her once in awhile. 

Icephrosty - for the people in my life that have everything, I usually buy them tickets to something, a concert, a movie, a theme park.  :) 

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