Have a Happy Period
I got this email from my mom, I was rolling laughing as I read it. Thought the ladies on this forum would enjoy it too. Kind of long, but funny.
> This is an ACTUAL letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble
> regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first
> paragraph. I about died laughing because it's very true - the words "Have a
> Happy Period" are really on the piece of paper that holds the wings
> together.
>
> PC Magazine's 2007 Editor's Choice for Best Webmail Award Winning Letter
>
>
> Dear Mr. Thatcher:
>
> I have been a loyal user of your maxi pads for over 20 years, and I
> appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or
> Dri Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
> dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
> tight, white shorts.
>
> But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flex-Wings. Kudos on
> being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
> maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each
> month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
>
> Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the
> curse? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right
> now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through
my
> body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed
> into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.
> Isn't the human body amazing?
>
> As Brand manager in the Feminine Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite
> a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
> monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
> puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
> jags, and out of control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most
> women. In fact, only last week my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to
> shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Forman Grill just because he
told
> her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
>
> The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
> crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants....which brings me to the
> reason for my letter.
>
> Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
> inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there,
> printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
>
> Are you fu**in kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
> middle-manager brain really think happiness, actually smiling, laughing
> happiness is possible during a menstrual period? did anything mentioned above
> sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
>
> FYI - unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be
> anything happy about a day in which you jack yourself up on Motrin and
> Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the
> local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your
life
> in a blaze of glory.
>
> For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a
> moronic message on a maxi-pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something
that's
> actually pertinent, like Put Down the Hammer or Vehicular Manslaughter is
> Wrong, or are you just picking on us?
>
> Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
> there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
> maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings,
I
> will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull
> sh*t. and that's a promise I will keep Always.
>
> Best,
>
> Wendi Aarons
> Austin, TX
Yeah that slogan is really stupid. I am anything but happy during my period. I hate it.
that was hilarious. and true. but i'm addicted to always for the first 2 days...nothing else can get the job done right. i have to admit though, last month i did notice that happy period bullshit on the wrapper and was like ..what!?
While I agree about the stupid slogan, I am pretty offended by the way she portrays menstruating women in her letter--like crazy, hormonal, hysterical bitches (look up some stuff on "female hysteria" and find an array of prejudices against menstruating women--here's a wiki for starters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria). I hate the perpetuation of the idea that women's hormones make them "crazy" and "irrational" but male hormones make them "manly" and give them an excuse for violent, macho behavior. This rant probably belongs in the EFF Gender thread, but I had to comment here as well.
Anyone else :agree?:
who gives a shit? i think she needs to calm down.
I think she needs a diva cup!
I think she needs a diva cup!
Seriously! 8)
Dramatic irony bites like a rabid monkey. I have to speak in church on Sunday, which...you guessed it...will be the first day of my period. I've been doing this for 35 years. I think I'm done here. (I wish!)
I have to stand there all dressed up and talk nice and clearly....while all I will want to do is curl up in a fetal position on the floor under a quilt and moan. The first day is always hell on earth. Thank God I'll be able to cling to the podium and thank God I have the brains to type it out word-for-word because, of course, it won't be in English. Not that I can remember my native language the first day.
so I'm kinda new to the whole vegetarian thing, and am currently in the grips of my evil monthly friend (happy period my ASS). Anyways...the problem is every single time I'm on my period I crave...CRAVE ...madly desire meat/dairy products and large quatities of chocolate. This is my first one since giving up meat....any suggestions? Does this happen to ANYONE else?
Not really the meat thing, I find meat pretty disgusting now.
But I am with you on the chocolate!
and ashaimed to say, cheese, evil, terrible, horrible, creamy, delicious, delectible cheese
so I'm kinda new to the whole vegetarian thing, and am currently in the grips of my evil monthly friend (happy period my ASS). Anyways...the problem is every single time I'm on my period I crave...CRAVE ...madly desire meat/dairy products and large quatities of chocolate. This is my first one since giving up meat....any suggestions? Does this happen to ANYONE else?
Take a step back and look at the common nutrients in your cravings, and then look for a veg*n friendly option w/ those nutrients....
Given it is the period, I'm guessing you're craving red meat, which means your body is wanting extra iron since it is loosing all that blood, and the dairy products are calcium and maybe fat depending on what it is you're craving, calcium is good for menstrual cramps and fat just makes your body happy while it is working more than it normally does. The two together signify your body may be craving protein as well.
A solution to this? A big bowl of quinoa over a bed of iron and calcium rich greens like lightly steamed spinach, broccoli, or kale!!
Dunno, it always tend to brighten my cramp ridden days.
Calcium and magnesium together really help cramps. Calcium I know where to get, magnesium not so much, but I think lentils have it in? Not sure...someone on VW will know for sure tho.
so I'm kinda new to the whole vegetarian thing, and am currently in the grips of my evil monthly friend (happy period my ASS). Anyways...the problem is every single time I'm on my period I crave...CRAVE ...madly desire meat/dairy products and large quatities of chocolate. This is my first one since giving up meat....any suggestions? Does this happen to ANYONE else?
I'm guessing it's also because these are calorie-dense foods (esp. fat, like someone else said). Make sure you're getting enough calories!
I'm just so glad I'm a guy. Naaa nananaaaa naa :-D ::)
shush =-p
I'm just so glad I'm a guy. Naaa nananaaaa naa :-D ::)
dude, i think random puberty boners would be much worse than anything i have dealt with being a "woman"
YEAH.
thanks for the advice! I haven't given up dairy yet, I'm working on meat first, so my hubby got a cheese n mushroom pizza and I'm gonna eat spinach and tomatoes with it..mmmmm.....oh yeah...and i have chocolate now too ~^_^~
the Quinoa with spinach sound really good too..... I've been meaning to try it, but I keep wondering what it tastes like, cuz it's kind of expensive where I live. It's $6 for a small bag. :-\
dude, i think random puberty boners would be much worse than anything i have dealt with being a "woman"
:-D
Pwned by bp!
Am I the only one who thinks this is just a stupid prank from some guy with too much time on his hands? The PMS talk is a bit extreme and I doubt a woman would call every other woman on her period a homicidal maniac in capris. And I've never had a happy period and I don't think switching to Always will change that fact.
Also, since this is about periods, what do you all think about the birth controls that you can use to not have periods (or fewer periods)? I get health insurance at work next month and I am TOTALLY going to get those.
YAY for being anti BCP! My doctor put me on them for an iron deficiency my first year in college, and she's trying to do it again.... the problem: after that first year, I stopped because I got SUPER depressed on my period, and i thought it was just...wrong...for it to be like that because of a stupid pill that wasn't even neccessary and guess what....I never got my periods back >:( AND I developed a thyroid disorder (my theory is that it was underlying anyways, but all the fake estrogen freaked it out. ), and then all the weight gain from the thyroid made my blood sugar levels insane, so I was like...pre-pre diabetic. Now I am on thyroid meds for the rest of my life, and I have to take bouts of progesterone to help get my hormones back in balance, and i have to lose weight. GRRRR. So yeah. i have to take a pill to get a period, and hopefully in a few months they'll come naturally. My doctor is trying to put me on BCP AGAIN and I said, in as polite a way as I could muster, HELL NO. She was all like "I understand your concerns, but I think this is for the best. For the best my ass. >:(............
sorry for the rant. I just feel strongly about birth control in regards to my body.
I'm also anti-BCP, so I don't like the idea of not ever menstruating or only having a period 4 times a year. I also don't like the way those products are marketed because it further portrays menstruation as a curse and other bad things. I also think it's not such a good idea to be putting constant doses of hormones into one's body. My mom's side of the family has a history of breast cancer (my mom's mom died from it and her aunt is a survivor) so I try to reduce my hormone intake as much as possible (which means no BCP, no dairy, etc.).
And everything else BP said...I think we're on the same page w/ this ;)b
I also don't think the letter was a prank. While it very well could be, many women think that way about PMS/menstruation/women's hormones and perpetuate the negative images. So, I think a woman could definitely think those things and use that sort of language to describe menstruation.
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