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Open letters

Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.

I'll get the ball rolling.

To my dear darling boyfriend,

Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.

Love, Cat

Dear Argeny,

I'm sorry that you have a hard time following what is going in class because you speak mostly Spanish and I speak English.  I wish I had more time to spend with you individually so I could help you out better.  You are so, so smart.  I hope you get a kick out of my very bad Spanish.  Thank you for teaching me that it is "negativo tres" and not "tres negativo."  I hope that you never have to be in a class again where the entire class is held in English and you are just forced to watch and follow as best you can.  You are my very first favorite student!

Love,
Miss H.

P.S.  Please stop calling Walter crazy.

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Dear off at 5 o'clock work people,

Plz don't hit me and/or my bike.

-A

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dear tecate:

thank you for waiting for me, patiently chill, while i took that exam.  let's totally hang out.

love,
q.b.

This is a beautiful letter.

thank you, s.b.  it came from the heart.

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dear tecate:

thank you for waiting for me, patiently chill, while i took that exam.  let's totally hang out.

love,
q.b.

This is a beautiful letter.

thank you, s.b.  it came from the heart.

i like the 'lets totally hang out' im waiting for my post mowing the lawn lonestar.  mmm.  cheep beer.

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Dear contact lenses,
Please stop hurting my eyes.  I don't look good in glasses.
Love,
Scratchy and squinty

Dear beets,
Why did you have to stain my new cutting board?  You're lucky you tasted delicious.
xoxo,
Red-mouth

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Dear mdvegan,

How do you like beets? How did you prepare them?

-AC

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Dear Diet Coke,

We parted company because it just wasn't working out.  Now, you come back into my life after all this time and I still feel the same love for you.  Sometimes love isn't enough.  I'd like you to start seeing someone else.

Your addicted soulmate,
Shaky

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Dear Humboldt Honey, the only vegan honey for me  :-*,

You don't need no Diet Coke!  He's no good for you.  Besides, I think he is cheating on you with Diet Dr. Pepper.  You deserve so much more.

Love,
KMK

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I always suspected Diet Coke was a social climber.  A doctor!  hmpf.

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Dear AC,

The beets were roasted with red cabbage, onions, braggs, thyme, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar.  Kind of like a deconstructed borscht.

:flower:

MDV

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Dear Mother Nature,

I know you like you like to visit me every month but I'd appreciate it if you'd skip me the next few months.  I don't like getting cramps, feeling like I'm going to throw up or having a splitting migraine.  I hope you understand.

-S-

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I always suspected Diet Coke was a social climber.  A doctor!  hmpf.

Dear hh,

That ^ was good. Additionally, does it bother you that I type "hh" instead of "HH"? I don't know why I started doing that, but I just don't feel like I can turn back.

-AC

Dear Mdvegan,

I tried roasting beets. They were a pain, and I could not discern whether they were indeed beets....or blood coated dirt chunks.

-AC

Dear :chicken: ,

I weas you. Thank you for being so sweas.

:)>>> ,

Weasiepea

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Dear  :sheep: and  :chicken:,

Thank you for being the most sickeningly sweet couple I know.  I get diabetes listening to just a few words of conversation between the two of you.

Love,
KMK

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Dear  :sheep: ,

I call myself hh.

Love,

:giraffe:

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dear cory and mimi,

thanks for letting me and DR be your human pets. it is true that you own this house and that we are your humble servants.

however, please refrain from waking us up at 4-5 am for your kibbles. we enjoy sleeping. we promise you won't stave. why not take the time to cuddle up with us and sleep some more? you have quotas to meet.

love,
muther

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Dear hh,

I pretty much always call you HH.  My bad. 

Love,
KMK

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Dear kmk,

I swing both ways.

Love,

:giraffe:

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Dear KMK,

:lol:

-AC

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Dear KMK,

Mmmmmm. Contact diabetes.

-P

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Dear hh,

Yay! You fail, KMK. jk
hh, We knoowwwww you swing both ways.  ;)

-AC

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dear hh....
I hate to tell you on vegweb, but I have been spendng alot of time with diet coke myself........

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I can't do an open relationship.  I guess it really is over.

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