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Open letters

Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.

I'll get the ball rolling.

To my dear darling boyfriend,

Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.

Love, Cat

dear Dear Friend,

I will miss you fantastically. Come back soon

tino

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dear Everyone Else,

I need more of you in my life. Please don't be shy.

tino

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Dear M,
Thanks for magically reading my previous letter.  Thanks for agreeing to use the double kayak (which was suuuch a better deal than the singles) and for putting up with the (accidental) splashes.  I had a great time and I'd love to go again soon!
:)
alg

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dear about a boy,

how come every time i read you i have to listen to nirvana?

love, hesp.

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Dear family-
I'm so sick of your attitude lately. I may not be talking to you much for a little while, I need some space. Please don't be too angry at me for it. AND PLEASE quite being so hyper critical of me! Why would i want to be around you when all you is give me shit.

Dear future friends I do not have yet-
Please help me find you faster. I need some friends that will stop giving me shit for who I am.

PB

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Dear mysterious rash,

What are you and where did you come from? I wish you'd leave.
~ Itchy (and Scratchy  ::))

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Dear USPS,

What the heck is taking so long? Have you delivered the package? One of your employees told me that priority shipping would be 4 to 6 days...it has now been ummm 8 or 9. wth?

thhf

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Dear Canada,

Why do you have so many public holidays? Every time I need to get something important done, it seems all of your government offices are closed.

You are almost as bad as Germany in this respect, and I don't appreciate it.

Anonymous.

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dear dad,

please get into town by noon so we can have lunch together.  i miss you.

love,
your peach

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Dear Anxiety,

I hate you.  I know you are suppose to serve a purpose but when you come for no reason and just hang around and get stronger and stronger it makes my life miserable.  Go away! If you are truly needed for a fight of flight type response...fine but otherwise I want you to leave me alone.

thhf

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Dear coworker,

Why must you talk so loudly when speaking on the phone?  Is everyone you talk to hearing-impaired?  You may be surprised to find, that the little half partition that divides us does not block the sound of your voice.  In fact, I know much more about you then I’ve ever cared to know.  Since you never stop talking, I know it is will be quite difficult for you to do this.  However, as a special favor to me, do you think you could not talk with your mouth full of food.  It makes me want to puke and I’m sure the person you are talking with on the phone would appreciate it as well.  And just one more thing, why is it that you must tear every piece of paper in half before throwing it in the garbage?  Maybe you are unaware of the company shredder?  To me, the sound is like nails on a chalkboard.  It is quite maddening, actually.  Please stop torturing me, this job is torture enough.

Your fellow neighbor in a box.

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Dear Second Son,

Sometimes you can be such a brat.  :-[

Mom

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Dear Anxiety,

I hate you.  I know you are suppose to serve a purpose but when you come for no reason and just hang around and get stronger and stronger it makes my life miserable.  Go away! If you are truly needed for a fight of flight type response...fine but otherwise I want you to leave me alone.

thhf

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Dear gas,

I wish you would go away because are making my room stink. And now I have to go to work. I don't feel like holding you in all day. Thanks!

Your pal,
Base

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Dear Yabbit,

I am sitting here trying to think of an appropriate name for my "nameless dread". ;)

thhf

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Dear Hubby-
Question: How is it you can walk into a perfectly clean room, touch nothing, and yet the room is a mess when you leave???? I was under the impression only toddlers had that 'gift' but apparently I have been misinformed.... Husbands AND toddlers possess that gift! Who knew?!? :P

Lovingly-
Your nagging (yet faboulous) wife

ps- thank you for going to 'waste of space' friends house for xbox night instead of burdening me with his presence in our home  ;)b

Dear Mother Nature-
THANKYOU for ending Colorado's 90+ degree weather streak and bless your heart for putting Colo. in the low 80's for the extended forecast  ;)b I apologize for cursing you days on end, but it was really fricking hot there for awhile. Now if you could just bring me October I would be eternally grateful.

Your Fan-
PB

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Dear coworker,

Why must you talk so loudly when speaking on the phone?  Is everyone you talk to hearing-impaired? 

People that are hearing impaired may themselves talk very loud. My step-sister's husband is VERY loud and I was always like WTF DUDE!?!?!?! And then I found out he is almost completely def in one of his ears.

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dear drunk ass stupid neighbors,
It's monday night. MONDAY!!! No one parties on a monday night! wtf is wrong with you? I have to get up at 5am, what about you? Hmmm, I have a sneaking suspicion that you might get someone pounding on your door tomorrow morning. Only if you keep me up tonight of course. seriously, GROW THE F*%@ UP!! You're in your 30's. Geez.

signed,
your super light sleeper of a neighbor in #11

dear deaf old lady neighbor,
please for the love of pete get your hearing checked!! It's not good for you to be listening to tv at that decibel level, and it sure as hell isn't good for us either. You're retired, so you can go to bed whenever you want. Alas, some of us are young and have to work. EARLY. Call your doctor, please??

signed,
your super light sleeper of a neighbor that shares a common wall with you

ETA: um actually it's tuesday night, and i'm all screwed up cause i worked thurs/fri/sat, and i never work those days. grr, sorry folks!

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Pink, I party on Monday if the mood stikes me... :-\ But I'm not loud nor do I share a common wall with anyone...

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Dear Pink,

Isn't it Tuesday there, too?  ???  I miss talking to you more.

-AC
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Dear SoG and AnS,

Let us know when you have fallen in love.

-AC (your co-matchmaker)

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Pink, I party on Monday if the mood stikes me... :-\ But I'm not loud nor do I share a common wall with anyone...

they're outside on the patio, music blaring, screaming, singing, being super loud and annoying. THAT kind of partying. it's cool if you live in a complex that does that kind of stuff, but this is a lot of families, older people, and working folks. They're the only loud college students. Sorry if I offended you.

AC-
whoa, i am way off. i worked thurs/fri/sat. i never work that. so i'm all screwed up. sorry!!

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