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Lunchtime visit?

Have a question.

I love my baby boy and loves me!  (it was cute, at the daycare today I one of the daycare workers said "he loves his mommy" when I was visiting during lunch and he was all over me like usual.)

Anyway...I love to be with him, and I want to visit during lunchtime.  He is so happy to see me when I go, and is so giggly and happy when I visit that it makes me want to go see him everyday.

But here is the problem, when I leave he ALWAYS cries.  And as a result I always cry. 

So my question is, should I not see him during lunch so that I don't have to break his heart and make him cry when I have to go back to work, or should I visit because it makes him so happy when I do so despite the fact that he cries when I leave?  I am torn about this!  I so wish I didn't have to leave him there!

as much as you like seeing him, i wouldn't make a habit of it. The workers will probably get annoyed with you...he's doing fine and then you come in and get him all upset again. if you were nursing him it would be one thing, but just to pop in seems disruptive. i would only do it once in a while-to see your kid, and also pop in to see how the daycare is treating him and other kids.



As someone who works in child care my advice is this:

As hard as it is, when you leave, do not cry. When you cry or become upset about leaving it communicates that he does in fact have something to worry about when Mom leaves. Try to establish a routine such as letting him know "Mommy has to go back to work in five minutes, you get to stay here and play with ___fill in name here__", then in five minutes tell him you are leaving, give him a hug and a kiss and leave calmly. This will teach him that you are confident he is going to be okay at the daycare without you. It won't happen overnight but he will eventually learn that when you leave he can still stay and have fun and he gets to see you later!

The other thing you can do is create a very basic social story. The story should be very simple with clear pictures and as little written word as possible. An example might be:

Page one: Picture of daycare/kids playing. "I like to play at daycare"
Page two: Picture of you and picture of lunchtime at the daycare or lunch food. "Sometimes mommy visits me at lunch"
Page three: Picture of a friendly face with a wave. "Mommy will leave after lunch."
Page four: Picture of kids playing at daycare or of his favorite daycare activity/toys. "I will play with my friends."
Page five: Picture of home. "I will see Mommy when I go home."

What a social story accomplishes is the establishment of a routine--and you can read it LOTS so even if you don't visit alot, when you do, he gets the idea of what is going to happen.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you need some more ideas or help. I love working with parents.

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