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NVR - husband troubles

I have a question for you married people.  If your spouse is totally able to work (no physical or debilitating mental handicaps including drug addiction) and (s)he is really intelligent but has a really hard time getting a job and for the last ten years has been let go from every single one of the few (s)he's had, would you continue to stay with him/her?  At what point do you "pull the plug"?  This is not a rhetorical question but I'd rather not go into details.  I'd just like your thoughts on the issue.

I have to say that I find some of these comments a little disturbing.  I've been a volunteer at my local VA hospital for about 14 years.  If you've ever talked to any veterans you would find that you just can't "get over" the war.  Some of these guys have fought their own personal "demons" ever since they came back from which ever war they were in.  Vietnam vets in particular feel they are treated "unfair" because of how they were treated after they came home.  If you were called a "baby killer", denied employment or treated badly after you'd spent years away fighting I'd think you would feel the same way.  It was a total 180 degree difference from the homecoming the WWII vets received after WWII was over. The American people treated the Vietnam guys as evil and it's not as if they really had a choice about going.  It definately sounds as if Tin's husband has a problem.  Does it sound as though it could be related to his military service?  Yes.  But that doesn't mean he would automatically recieve disability checks.  You have to go through a long process to determine that and how much you would be
considered "service connected".

I would suggest that he (and Tin) go back to the VA so that he can get counseling.  She would be able to give the doctor's more information about any problems he is having and would most likely be an asset in his recovery process.  I don't think she should "dump" him until all options are looked at.  It's been my experience that the job thing is pretty common among veterans.  (I'm by no means saying all veterans are like this)  The VA has programs that can help.  Job training assistance, support groups, counseling, etc. 

Don't give up on him yet, TinTexas.  You could be the very thing that determines the success of his recovery.               

The reason that I said that was because complaining about the war is just not enough to me that there is a problem. It could just be a complaint I mean no disrespect towards our beloved vets.

Now true you are more experienced in this.

I'm just saying she should look into the matter more to actually see if there is a problem with war trauma.



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