Murederer meat- Me
Posted by beccalynn77 on Jun 10, 2007 · Member since Mar 2007 · 238 posts
I am having LARGE feelings of guilt lately. I have too cook for my omnivores family all the time. I am the only one ofmy sisters who can REALLY cook and my mom is away on a three week trip so i have to cook ( even if she wasnt away I would have to cook because she is always so busy). unfortunetly I cannot cook vegan for my family and therefore I always have to cook alot of meat.
I feel that cooking meat is going against the reaosn I am vegan, but I do not want to cause conflict with my family since they have so far been pretty suportive . Does naybody have nay ideas about what I can do?1?!?!?!?
Treat it as a job that you have been sort of "hired" to do. You can't not do this unless you want to leave home, right? I have to cook for my DH all the time and in fact Tuesday I get the jolly job of going to the butcher's shop to stock up, and that means putting all the parts in plastic to put in the freezer. Ugh ugh ugh. But it has to be done.
Your family is important, believe me a supportive family is not easy to find. Don't let it get you down, as long as they're not forcing you to eat it! Don't antagonise them unnecessarily but stick to your own choices for your own meals.
Remember that thing about vinegar and honey, though why one would want to catch flies (esp a vegan) is beyond me.
thanks yabbitgirl, no my family owuld never force me to eat meat. i am really glad i have them as my family.
its just that alot of times i feel that i am going against the reputation of being a vegan that i have worked so hard to gain . Here in Brazil vegans, or even vegetarians are super rare and so far i have not met ANY here, so basically whatever i do sorta demonstrates what vegans do- ya know?
Now , if you had thought about the meat cooking a while back , you could have messed things up so it tasted really bad , then they'd be begging you not too cook anymore. Can' t your have a comprimise and say to them that every other day you will cook meat , then you don't have to do so much. Or, make something with already prepared meat in it , you know just chuck it in at the last stages! Sorry , I know I'm not much help , but the support is here.
The good thing is that there is no single definition of "vegan." You'll find a lot of people here who are the only vegan in their families and prepare omni dishes for them. I haven't been in the position to buy animal products and prepare them for people, but I do buy fish for my cat. I handle it quickly and wash my hands as soon as possible to remove the dead flesh scent.
One thing you could do if you would like to limit your animal handling is prepare a weeks worth of the meat portion of a meal at one time and freeze it. You could put it in the refrigerator the night before you're going to use it so that all you would have to do is add it in quickly each day, thereby limiting your daily exposure to it.
I agree with Humboldt. My boyfriend is omnivore and I'm vegan. I buy his meat, I make HIM portion it out then freeze it. So the only thing I have to do is cook it (if he doesn't ... most of the time he does ... thank goodness). But I do have to give him credit. When I cook totally vegan for BOTH of us, he eats it.
Even though you're the only one of your sisters who can REALLY cook (as you said), you could make them do all of the animal-flesh cutting/preparation (depending on how old your sisters are--if they are elementary-school aged, that would probably just be mean, but I think teens are more than capable of helping in the kitchen). Then, you could agree to cook it for them if they did all of "touching". My boyfriend is a terrible cook, but I have him do a lot of the chopping of veggies, garlic, onions, etc. when we make meals together. If he wants meat, he has to cut it up, put it in a pan, and add it to whatever vegan thing I make; however, he rarely does it because it's a pain and is perfectly happy with our vegan dinners (I actually can't remember the last time he cooked meat).
Maybe if they are grossed out by touching dead chicken/cow/pig/fish muscle, then they will be content with your vegan food?
I don't think you should compromise your ethics to feed your family.
I'd cook vegan and not make excuses for what I cooked. They're lucky you're cooking for them anyway. I assume they're all able-bodied adults and can fend for themselves if necessary. And if some of them are children, they should graciously eat what's put in front of them anyway--a lesson all children must learn.
They are not going to starve or become malnourished in 3 weeks.
I'm speaking from my own ethical position here. I would NEVER cook meat for a human as it would emotionally sicken me and I feel my actions would be perceived as tacit acceptance that a non-veg diet is acceptable, undermining my own dietary beliefs.
These days, I'm with CateS. I don't cook meant or dairy for anyone.
BUT, I don't live at home. I live with my very supportive, but unfortunately omni boyfriend. And he would never ask me to compromise my beliefs by cooking anything non-vegan.
I went vegan when I was a teen, and my little brother and I did ALL the cooking. I would cook the veges and he cooked the meat. I don't know how old your sisters are, but my brother was 13 and we actually really enjoyed working together. Maybe try and get them involved?
I understand where you are coming from BeccaLynn. Just do what you are comfortable with. I would sit down with my family and tell them how I felt. You can also include other members of your family in the cooking process, thereby teaching them and being able to set up some sort of rotation schedule, so you are cooking meat less often. The fact that you are helping out at home is admirable. ;) And there are no vegan police.....if there were then I would sure be arrested because I cook for my omni DH. Good luck!
Well, in these situations, here is what you can do: do you know where your meat comes from? I think there is a BIG difference in eating factory farmed animals who are kept inside 24/7 and suffer their whole lives before being inhumanely slaughtered. And then there is the other side: small, local farms that have grass fed animals who live out their lives roaming the land, nibbling on grass, etc. Now, yes, obviously the end is the same - both are killed. But, there is a big difference in the quality of life for the animal and in HOW they are killed. Small farms are big on sustainability and humane treatment of their animals. In short, they let their animals BE animals.
My partner is an omni and he eats meat ONLY from those local, small, sustainable, humane farms. I'm OK with that precisely because of the reasons I just stated. If he ate from the factory ones - I couldn't be with him.
So, this is one thing that you could control: the source of your meat. Therefore, you minimize your impact - environmentally and in terms of suffering of animals.
Short of that, there's not much you can do if you must cook for an omni family.
By the way ... I hope it was OK to write that whole bit about sustainable farms on this website. I kind of got banned from the vegan forum when I mentioned sustainable farming. :-[ So, I hope no one here is offended. Just trying to help the OP. :)
I started helping my mother in the kitchen when I was about 7 (peeling potatoes etc) and by 13 I was doing all the cooking. Even if your siblings are primary school age, they can help you do stuff under supervision. I was taught to hold a knife properly at about age 8, when my mother went made for Asian food, and I may have cut my finger once or twice but nothing severe.
Also if they help you they will appreciate the work that goes into cooking more. You can make it a positive experience by putting on some music or singing together as you work or something. And make a bit of a fuss at the table, "Oh, Susi helped me make this, isn't it good? She was such a help!" even if it takes a bit longer with inexperienced "helpers." (Shhh--I do this with my DH who was raised that "real men" don't help at all!) My BFFs significant other is his age, and he remarked "any man who helps in the kitchen is a bit gay", which I found not only incredibly stupid but offensive! But then her SO is a complete dweeb. To him "gay" is the worst thing you can say about a person! (But, Beccalynn, if you live in Brasil you know the mentality I'm talking about here.)
Thanks everyone for the help!
My mom gets home in a week so for one AWEFUL week I will continue to cook all this nasty meat, but then later when she gets back we can talk..
Yeah um my sister is OLDER than me. She is 16 I just turned 15. But um ...yeah haha
Thanks again!