i went to see oprah last week.  my mom came into town to come along cus in her words "thats something you always want to do in your life!".  so im a pretty awesome daughter for fulfilling that dream so close to mothers day.. all my brother did was give her a grandbaby - pshhh!  so unoriginal.

the night before, i was thinking to myself that i really hoped it was going to be a good/fun show.. i've seen lots of daytime tv and while maury does it most often, i always feel bad for audiences that go all the way there to only have it be a damn update show, where all you do is watch clips form 3 months ago and you get to find out that the baby daddy is still undetermined.  my other thought was that i hoped that it wasnt "some fucking josh groban concert".. sometimes she has on musicians that i really don't give a shit about and it would really suck to have to sit thru an hour of them singing/being interviewed.  i don't think i was asking too much.. i wasnt gonna be pissed if it wasnt a huge giveaway day - just something fun or interesting would be nice.

we got there & it had been raining, in the waiting area they had some racks with plastic umbrella bags on them to use.  i grabbed one for my moms umbrella and we joked about how it would be funny if that was the only thing we came away with.  we had to take a survey about our favorite viewer surprise moments & they mentioned that it was relevant to that days show. hmmm.  eventually they start seating certain groups, then everybody else.  we sit down and the tv screens everywhere have "Favorite Viewer Surprises" all over them.  fuck - that means a clip show.  the audience fluffer comes out to get the group excited, some ladies go on stage to dance, i try not to laugh but one lady is totally old, wearing a weird hat, a pencil skirt, a purse across her chest and is trying to do sexy hoochie mama nightclub dances.  looking back on it - it may have been my favorite part of the show.

eventually ms.O comes out and greets everybody, she was actually kinda funny - especially between takes.  so yeah - it's a clip show and they start showing old pieces where they surprise some 40 yr old lady with bon jovi delivering her pizza, that sorta thing.  then the show the clip of josh groban surprising gail (oprahs best friend) and serenading her.  when the clips over, oprah asks if so&so (some chick) is in the audience.  the girl raises her hand and stands up.  oprah says something like 'i heard that that was your favorite clip.." (from the surveys we took).  the girl blabs about how much she loves him and she asked him to prom back when she went to his concert when she was in highschool (she held up a big sign, and he told her he'd go if he wasnt busy.. apparently he was busy).  so then oprah says "well maybe this will be good enough..." and some dudes push a piano out of nowhere onto the stage and josh fucking groban walks out.  josh FUCKING groban!!  the only person that popped into my head that i hoped it WOULDNT be!!!  i had to laugh.  i seriously could not believe of all the damn people in the world, HE shows up.  he takes her onstage, sits her next to the piano and sings her a song.  i felt good for the girl cus she was obviously creaming her pants over the whole thing, but on the inside i couldnt stop thinking about how crazy it was that this show was a combination of the 2 things i was dreading.  after that i'm thinking - well, shit at least we'll probably get a josh groban cd (that i would totally give to my friends mom who is in love with the guy).  but no - nothing.  just a wave goodbye and he's gone.  then more clips, more skype with the ppl to get updates.  i wasnt giving up hope though, seeing as that this was a 'viewer surprise' show.. and all of us sitting there are viewers right?  im thinking they'll give us something at the very end of the show.  nope.  wrong.  nothing.. apparently our surprise was the josh groban thing.  then the show ended and she chatted with the crowd for a bit and showed us her new hair accessory and told us about how she's taking her entire crew & their families on a cruise.. but that it wasnt really a vacation for her - but it's nice for the families..  she still needs to plan her summer/vacation.

we left & laughed at how we were right - all we ended up getting was the plastic baggie to put your umbrella in.  (which doesnt have 'oprah' written on it or anything).  afterwards we had awesome costa rican food... potato tacos!  then we headed to the bus stop to get my mom on her way home, but we missed it by 5 minutes and those assholes left, even though they knew other people were on their way there to catch it. jerks.  so we had like 3 hours to kill and we didnt feel like dragging her luggage around in the rain (she was seriously here for less than 24 hours and she brought a bag that weighed like 40 lbs somehow) so we decided to go across the street and get pedicures.  it was my 1st, and i felt bad for the woman who had to deal with 30 years of calluses.. she got me back by tickling me.

i'm going to go see judge mathis in a couple weeks so i'll let you know how it is.

here's my toes!