My kitty cat died today. She was 23 years old.
I am 750 miles away from my home, and I got the call.
I miss her. Poor Percy.
This is kind of a good thing, though. My mom refused to put her down, saying that she was doing okay and fine, when I know she wasn't a happy kitty for the past year and a half or so. She had about 7 strokes and my mother refused to put her down. She hadn't walked for months, and would pee her bed. She didn't eat for the last 4 days of her life.
:( So, I'm upset about Percy being gone, and I'm incredibly pissed with my parents. Needless to say, as much as I hate the idea of Percy gone, I think that she should have been put to sleep because she was not comfortable, she was in a lot of pain.
How have you guys coped with a beloved pet that has passed away? This is my first time going through it....and it sucks!
I'm so very sorry. Do you have a picture of her you could post?
When my cat, Cat (my avatar), died, I didn't deal with it well, but people around here let me talk about him. You don't know us, but could you tell us about Percy?
It's hard when a loved family member is suffering. I don't have answers about euthanasia. I did that for Cat, but after he was miserably and irreversibly ill. In terms of compassion, I probably waited too long, but I loved him so much I selfishly couldn't do it earlier. Maybe that's what your mom was going through. When he died, I cried a lot and felt miserably sad. Nearly two years later, I still cry when I unexpectedly find a picture of him. I don't think that goes away, it just becomes less sore. I don't look at it as a negative, though. You can't have that much pain without having that much love.
I am truly sorry for your loss. Being far away does not make it any easier for you.
It has been such a long time since I have had a companion animal pass away (not since I was a child), I cannot really give you any help as to how to make it easier for you.
If you feel like you want to talk, we're always here to help you though. Thoughts with you.
(HUGGING YOU IN MY MIND!!!)
There's no good way for this to happen... but it sounds like Percy was having a hard time; and now she's not... and I'm very sure, from your tone: as she was YOUR cat, she knew she was a LOVED cat.
(hugs again) So sorry; no matter how many times you go through it, it doesn't get easier... but it's worth it to have so much richer a life, for the companionship of Percy & her kin! There's a thread here somewhere where I was talking about my family's grief-&-loss rituals... will re-post here if I can find it, on the off chance it's helpful...
I'd also like to see a picture of Percy, if you have one handy... :) I'm sending you hope and strength, in my own particular spiritual idiom (er, translate to 'praying for you', or something very like it')...
Sorry for being redundant, but: (hug)! So sorry...
What a great picture! Looks like she's saying, 'What?! no, of COURSE i'm not sneaking out to scratch up the neighbor's prize tulips! just, you know, opened this window to, ah, cool off my toes. Yeah, that's it! and btw -- don't I look pretty?' :)
My childhood nanny was a Siamese cat named Lizzie... she'd come running whenever I hurt myself, and do original acrobatics and various goofy 'tricks' until I laughed; once when I was 5 she attacked 2 adult Weimeraners (they were about 80 pounds each, & taller than me!) that she (and I!!) thought were threatening me -- she was a hissing, spitting ball of furious outrage, right up until I ran screaming through my friend Sheila's front door to 'safety'... then she stalked haughtily back to our front porch and resumed sunning herself (leaving behind 2 very confused dogs!)... she lived to be 21, and probably should have been let go a little sooner, like Percy... it's so hard letting go, when they've been your friend so long!
Here's what my family does about grief & loss, re-posted from another thread... I know we're not normal (in more ways than one, lol), but to me it helps...
This may sound weird to some folks, but it helps me:
In the pagan tradition of the 'All Hallows' holiday, every Halloween night (or the night before, if other social obligations/ kid stuff/ etc. is planned for actual Halloween night) my hubby & I make a fire in the outdoor fireplace, take out a couple bottles of wine, some catnip, & some dog treats, & talk about friends & family members (2-legged *or* 4-legged) that aren't living but are still 'with us', in terms of loving memories/ impact on our lives. For every person we talk about, we pour a sip of wine into the fire, & for every 4-legged friend, we toss in a treat of the appropriate variety... We always end up sitting out until the wee hours, getting a little tipsy, telling stories & reminiscing about pets & friends & such who aren't with us anymore. There might be intermittent tears, but overall it's very comforting & uplifting... It's kind of a way to keep their memories alive, but without dwelling their loss all the time, ya know?
I don't know if some kind of 'family tradition' like that might help, to make letting go at least a little less painful...? Loss sucks, all the way around... You did what was best for your friend, and can know that your cat had a good, happy life, and isn't suffering now... But I'm so sorry you're having to go through it! (hug!)
Percy sounds like a very special, loved, happy cat.
No, though that would be cool.
Cat was a "street rescue" (although we rescued each other equally) and still had a strong urge to go outside. He was Cat because when I was trying to break up cat fights at my apartment complex it was easier to sound like I didn't know one of the participants in case someone else wanted me to pay for vet bills. He didn't respond to it, though. His unofficial name was I Love You. I said it so often he responded to that, instead. If he knew what it meant, he would have reserved a special fifth-level-of-hell glare for me, so luckily he only spoke cat.
How's your bro doing?
Cat was a "street rescue" (although we rescued each other equally) and still had a strong urge to go outside. He was Cat because when I was trying to break up cat fights at my apartment complex it was easier to sound like I didn't know one of the participants in case someone else wanted me to pay for vet bills...
Ha! My mom use to have a cat named 'Kitty Kat", for similar reasons! Thought it was just US... :)
I am so sorry about your kitty cat. What a long, and happy life though! Tell us (or someone) some of her funny stories (all pets have them!). That sort of thing makes me feel better.
My puppy dog is a senior citizen now, and she lives with my parents who spoil her mercilessly. I imagine the three of them sitting around reading AARP :) I cant even bring myself to imagine a day when she wont be here anymore, but even when I'm bummed about not being able to see her every day, I think about her digging a hole under the fence so she could steal the neighbor dogs toys, or the day a whole bunch of hot air balloons flew over the house and she though it was an alien invasion and ran around barking hysterically. Or when she was a baby and stole the grill cover, chewed a hole in it, got her head stuck in the hole, and we came home to her running around the yard in a "cape".
I'm laughing right now just thinking about it and it makes me feel better.
She used to come when she was called when she could walk...but only up to about four feet away, then she'd sit down and look at you and be like, 'what? You gotta come here if you want to pet me."
When i was younger I would try to get her to sit on my American Girl doll couch, because it was the perfect size for her. I remember the one time she actually did sit down I flipped out and ran around looking for a camera and just as I was about to take her picture, she got up and left. But it was still cute.
My dad is a musician who runs a recording studio out of my parent's house, and when he would have clients over, you would have to be very quiet if they were recording spoken voice, guitar, harp, etc. (the quieter instruments). In my parents living room right above the basement there was an open ceiling to the 2nd floor, so noise just amplified in there like crazy. For some reason during any 'touchy' recording sessions, Percy would sit right in the center of the living room and meow as loudly as she could and would screw up the recording--this happened more than once. My mom and I would be laughing our asses off as my dad would come upstairs to find out that the noisemaker ruining his sound was a little brown kitty...
What absolutely CLASSIC feline behavior!!!... cats are such awesome (haughty, troublesome, mischievous!) creatures!
;D ;D ;D
i had a cat with a similar cheese addiction, Smokey. occasionally one of us would drop a cheetoh or dorito, and she'd rush over, lick all the cheese off, and leave a soggy corn chip behind. Gross! A couple times she tried to eat the chip, but then realized it wasn't made of cheese and left it. After I went vegan, I discovered she was also not impressed with the "cheesy" Tings. But, she liked veggie dogs. Also, she liked lying on the MOST uncomfortable stuff. Like the slanted, slotted surface on one of those old computer monitors. Or a pile of craft supplies. She was a huge fan of boxes she couldn't possibly fit into. Especially shoeboxes, which would sudden split open, with her still all curled up looking shocked. Also boxes - my brother would get a pizza box and stick a finger through one of the steam holes, and she would go CRAZY batting it. She didn't have her claws out, either because she actually cared or (more likely) she was polydactyl - 7 on each front, 5 on each back.
after us kids moved out, my brother wound up taking her & her daughter (Trina; yeah, we didn't spay her soon enough), and they stayed outdoor/indoor cats. They got along really well, which was surprising because Smokey stayed with me & my mom for a little over a year, and then went back to my brother. A lot of cats won't get along if they've been apart long enough.
My brother adopted another cat eventually, but made the mistake of not keeping all the cats indoors for a few days. Smokey ran away, and we never found her. I posted flyers everywhere in that neighborhood, checked shelters, everything. I hate that I still don't know what happened. It could have been anywhere from someone else picking her up to getting hit by a car immediately. What made me less hopeful was that she *had* been hit by a car some years prior, and her leg never healed totally right - at one point we had to get the bone fixtures removed because it was causing chronic inflammation, and even after that she had some lameness issues. She'd jump up, but not down (she'd get stuck a lot).
She was weird, not only for the cheese-licking. She also rolled around on the carpet all the time, for belly rubs. Yeah, like a dog. She'd roll side to side and back, fully expecting your to comply.
For the year + that my mom and I had her, we adopted a kitten, Lucy, who my mom still has. Smokey HATED her at first, but then tolerated, and then loved her. Lucy's a runt, so it was like she was another of Smokey's little kittens. They always always slept and cuddled together. The decision to bring Smokey back to my brother's was made when I was away at college -_- and it's become one of those what-if's, since she was an indoor-only cat with us. It's also sad because Lucy liked her so much. Now my mom has another cat, Toby, who is merely tolerated by Lucy. That little kitty gives the big one trouble ^ ^
A year or so later, Trina died from something that was never diagnosed. My brother took her to the vet over and over and over, and he never figured out what it was. Which is strange, because now that I'm learning more it seems like it was pretty clearly FIP (but maybe the test came back negative, I don't know). They had her on antibiotics for a respiratory disease, but she wound up with neurologic problems and cachexia. My brother finally made the decision to have her euthanized, since it seemed she was just getting worse and was very underweight. Before the appointment day came, she died at home, in his arms.
It's sad, but kind of happy because she's the only cat my family had that *didn't* die from some sort of trauma or accident. Whenever those happen I always think about "only if...". She sure wasn't too old, but still a "senior" at 10 years. She was also weird because she'd do that kitty "trill" if you roused her from sleepiness. She'd always sit on the record player on the bookcase, and if you tried to pick her up, she would stiffen her legs defiantly and wouldn't fit through the bookcase. She also, uh, had a really strong predator instinct. I felt like she felt superior to the other cats for this reason. They'd bring in only locusts, she'd bring in... cuter animals.
Also, my cats always hung out with this one opossum, who was more diurnal than most. I think that was the only non-cat that she didn't consider prey.
Nope, never did. It's the city, and close to two boulevards, so... =/ for the longest time i'd panic about her now and then, and have dreams of suddenly finding her (either totally ok or totally not). it's hard not to worry. as time goes on though, i figure either she has died or she's with a new family. it's still hard not knowing though.
it's weird when deaths/disappearances are sudden. At least with Trina, we saw her get progressively worse; her death "made sense." It's still weird to me that Smokey, an otherwise healthy, feisty cat just disappeared one day. It's like she was never really gone.
and yeah, heh, i'm a cat person. i've certainly got more stories! but that's kind of morbid.
i've been without a cat for 9 months now (Toby and Lucy still with my mom), and I'm moving just so that I can have a cat (current place is "no pets")