You are here

Breast Feeding Q and A

Breastfeeding can be really difficult, especially without the support of other moms!
I'd love to open this thread as a place to help each other out and offer advice. I know PG was having some trouble, which made me think of this.

I will start by saying the first 6 weeks is AWFUL-it is painful (esp light skinned moms) and is almost unbearable. If you can make it through the 6 weeks, it's all downhill from there. Also, the 1st 20 seconds of latching on during this time is the worst. Take deep breaths and count to 20 till the pain subsides.
I nursed Noah until age 20 months, and Lyle is still nursing at 20 months.

I can't type for shit right now and have to correct every word, so that is all for now.  :-[

Oh!!  I forgot to report; Gavin lost a total of 9 oz in 5 days.  Over the weekend he put on 11 freaking ounces!  We have another appointment on Monday so we will see what is happening then. :)

0 likes

That's so great!  ;)b

0 likes

Yay!  I'm glad that you're feeling better and that Gavin is putting on so much weight!  I remember how relieved I was when Vincent went from being underweight to putting on 350g or so per week ("normal" being 150-250g...sorry, I'm too lazy to convert that to ounces.  A pound is about 480g).  Good luck at your next appt...sounds like you're off to a great start!

0 likes

Gavin was up another 8oz at his 2wk appt.  So, 8lbs 15oz. :)

MD ~ So happy to hear Stella is gaining!

Is/was any of your babies really noisy eaters??

0 likes

Vincent always made a lot of little "mmm" noises while he was eating.  And sometimes sort of grunted.  When he started on solids he would always go "mmm" while he was chewing, but eventually he grew out of it.

0 likes

Stella makes pig snorting noises.  Sometimes she also slurps.  ::)

0 likes

Breast feeding officially sucks and I hate it.  I will continue to do it because it's best for my son.  I feel no bonding urges while doing it just extreme annoyance.  I cannot wait until this shit is over and done with.

0 likes

Breast feeding officially sucks and I hate it.  I will continue to do it because it's best for my son.  I feel no bonding urges while doing it just extreme annoyance.  I cannot wait until this shit is over and done with.

:(
Does it hurt?  Or is it just not working like you had hoped?

0 likes

In general; I just hate it.  Despite multiple trips to lactation consultants we can't get him to latch properly.  Sometimes it hurts and other times it's just irritating.  He has bad habits at the breast.  I can't blame him though because there might be an underlying problem.  We're going to see a pediatric ENT and potentially an Occupational Therapist to try to correct his suckle.  We're also dealing with some reflux issues (which would probably be worse if he was formula fed/bottle fed).

I'm also having a hard time adjusting to motherhood; freaking out about everything, being grossed out by spit up, poop, etc... And the crying certainly gets in my nerves when I can't figure out why he's crying.  All in all, I pretty much suck as a mother right now.

0 likes

I'm sorry Lauren.  But in no way does that mean you suck as a mother!  It's normal to be freaked out - I'm terrified!  And at least you're attempting to get the problem solved....but if you can't, oh well, don't beat yourself up.  I have no idea how I'm going to handle all of this mother shit....I hope I'll be ok, but there's part of me that is expecting the worst.

0 likes

Erin ~ I hope it is easier for you than it is for me.  Thanks for your kind words though.

0 likes

I felt the same way for the first two months.  I couldn't believe that it took that long to settle into a routine, but we FINALLY did.  I had a little countdown going in my head "I only have to do this for another 10 months, 2 weeks, 3 days,...", etc.  The bonding didn't come into play for another few weeks after that. 

Sorry to hear you're still having latching problems.  I'm glad that you're being proactive about seeking help.

0 likes

I actually hated it so much that I had seriously considered exclusive pumping (no baby to breast).  Those first few months are damn hard.  DH and I were talking about that the other day - I don't know how on earth I ever stuck with it, but I am SO GLAD that I did. 

0 likes

I hated the first 4 months or so. Also considered exclusively pumping - even considered formula. Then it got much easier, and of course now I'm glad I stuck through it. The idea that breastfeeding is this wonderful, magical thing is such BS. Not everyone loves it, and that's ok. You just do what's best for your kid.

I feel really, really awful admitting this now, but I think sharing this information with brand new moms is important. When Amelia was less than a month old, I told DH that I hated her - and at the time I think I meant it. I even mentioned that there has to be some nice couple out there that really wants a baby. I was sure we made a terrible mistake having a baby.

Now that feels like sooo long ago, even though it's only been 2 years.

I'm really sorry you are having a rough time. I hope that if he does have some underlying issue, it will be resolved soon. Hang in there, it does get better.  :)

0 likes

I feel really, really awful admitting this now, but I think sharing this information with brand new moms is important. When Amelia was less than a month old, I told DH that I hated her - and at the time I think I meant it. I even mentioned that there has to be some nice couple out there that really wants a baby. I was sure we made a terrible mistake having a baby.

Me too!  I wanted to give Stella to my parents.

0 likes

I feel really, really awful admitting this now, but I think sharing this information with brand new moms is important. When Amelia was less than a month old, I told DH that I hated her - and at the time I think I meant it. I even mentioned that there has to be some nice couple out there that really wants a baby. I was sure we made a terrible mistake having a baby.

Me too!  I wanted to give Stella to my parents.

Thank you both for these posts.  I've said it and felt this way too (mainly when BF-ing and his crying for no apparent reason fits).  I was thinking that I was a horrible person.

0 likes

Nope, in fact it makes you normal.  ;)

DH got sort of freaked out with my venting, so if you don't want to worry E, you can vent to us on here - we've got your back!

0 likes

Thanks mdvegan!  There's been a few times where the words of fellow mothers has literally pulled me back from the brink.

Ha!  I've already scared the crap out of Evan with my venting.  Especially since I had a hard time with my hormones right after and gave a tendency to self diagnose.  Let's just say after reading about postpartum psychosis I told him to hide the guns.  Not exactly a statement that inspired the most confidence in a person....

0 likes

I also hated breastfeeding for quite a while.  It took 4 weeks to get him to breastfeed at all (before that he was not latching correctly, screaming all the time, losing weight, etc., and I too felt like a shitty mother).  Even after he started latching properly, it took soooo long for him to feed (a lot of which was probably comfort sucking, but I was afraid to take him off after all the effort it took to get him on in the first place).  I was counting down too.  And actually I did pump exclusively for a few days (mostly to get his weight/strength up, but it was a HUGE relief for me to not have the sole responsibility of feeding him.  I mean, it was my milk, but DH did the feeding and I barely even touched Vincent for those few days because he was such a source of stress for me).  It took about 3 months before I really felt comfortable with it and even longer before I started to enjoy it and bond and all that.

Regarding the crying...Vincent cried every day non-stop from about 4 or 5pm until 11pm or later from when he was 6 weeks until 3 1/2 months.  It seriously SUCKED, but apparently it's normal for some babies and there's not much you can do about it.  The best advice I got for it was: if you've tried everything (bouncing, rocking, feeding, bath, etc.) and none of it works and you're getting really stressed out, put the baby in a safe place (crib or stroller) and leave.  He's going to cry whether you're there or not, and if you're stressed enough you are likely to do more harm than good (which could be anything from the baby sensing your tension to actually physically harming him...this is the kind of thing that leads to shaken baby deaths).  So even if it means leaving the baby in the house alone while you go for a walk, do it.  Your sanity is the highest priority.  (Also, if you think you may have post partum depression, it's important to both you and your baby to seek help).

Motherhood is such a huge adjustment and no amount of reading can prepare you for what it's really like.  Just remember that no matter how hard it is now, he'll eventually grow out of it.

Also, this

I will continue to do it because it's best for my son.

means you are actually a good mother.  I know it's hard to feel like it since you're so frustrated with the other shitty aspects of motherhood, but when push comes to shove you're doing what's best for him.

0 likes

I know that I will probably appreciate all of this information come October, but right now, you guys are scaring the shit out of me!  But please continue...I will continue to live in happy pregnancy land for as long as I can.

0 likes

Pages

Log in or register to post comments