The Moratorium Auditorium: In Which We Unite In Shunning Inadequacy
Posted by KissMeKate on Jan 25, 2009 · Member since Aug 2007 · 7322 posts
Crossover from the open letters thread!
Represent.
:-*
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Aw, now you're gonna leave us hanging! Not nice! You're giving everyone blue balls.
:D
I want to know too!!! Geeze Heli! Get back on and tell us!
Muahahahaaa!! >:D
Guess again, my friends.
Or I could just come out and say it...
...I'm moving in with K. :o :) 8)
Ohhh snappp!! When?!
Muahahahaaa!! >:D
Guess again, my friends.
Or I could just come out and say it...
...I'm moving in with K. :o :) 8)
Nice!! How do your parents feel? That's neat. I'm glad it's not something too drastic. :)
Muahahahaaa!! >:D
Guess again, my friends.
Or I could just come out and say it...
...I'm moving in with K. :o :) 8)
congrats!!!
Thanks! :-*
When... well, soon, but I have a lot of crap to sort out at home first, and I gotta figure out which stuff to bring with me. And we have to talk to K's landlord and see if we can move into the bigger room in the flat.
I was concerned about leaving my parents and not paying them my rent anymore, because they're very short of money lately, and they're also trying to save up to move house in the spring. But Mum told me it's okay, and they can manage, and I should do what is right for me.
I thought about it for a couple of weeks since K first suggested me moving in, and asked him again on Friday if he truly thinks it's a good idea. Last night he said yeah, let's do it. We both agree that as long as we improve our shopping/cooking/drinking habits to some extent, it will be more affordable for both of us living together. And while I worry that we might wind up needing time alone and personal space, well... we don't know until we try it, right?
As Mum said, it might be a good test for our relationship. So I'm impulsively going ahead with this. ;)b
Thanks! :-*
When... well, soon, but I have a lot of crap to sort out at home first, and I gotta figure out which stuff to bring with me. And we have to talk to K's landlord and see if we can move into the bigger room in the flat.
I was concerned about leaving my parents and not paying them my rent anymore, because they're very short of money lately, and they're also trying to save up to move house in the spring. But Mum told me it's okay, and they can manage, and I should do what is right for me.
I thought about it for a couple of weeks since K first suggested me moving in, and asked him again on Friday if he truly thinks it's a good idea. Last night he said yeah, let's do it. We both agree that as long as we improve our shopping/cooking/drinking habits to some extent, it will be more affordable for both of us living together. And while I worry that we might wind up needing time alone and personal space, well... we don't know until we try it, right?
As Mum said, it might be a good test for our relationship. So I'm impulsively going ahead with this. ;)b
That's awesome Heli! I hope it works out for both of you! :)
Cams was just talking about reviving this thread!
Wow! That's great for you Heli! I hope you guys live together happily! :)>>>
Oh wow, I was NOT expecting that!
I'm so cautious about things like that. But I guess that's just me being afraid of being fenced in/stifled. Typical Sagittarius. I need my freedom!
That's nice that you feel like you are at a stage where you want to live with each other after only a few months of dating! A few different couples I knew in college moved in with each other after a year or two of dating, and unfortunately they all ended in a mess. Like, in terms of the housing, and having to find new roommates, and just the whole process of moving AGAIN. I mean, it's a pretty big thing to just "try." It's a big commitment in and of itself! (Not something to commit to on impulse!)
I was always a big fan of the "live down the street" or "live in a neighboring building" arrangement--see them whenever you want, sleep over sometimes, and have space when those inevitable moments happen. My roommate was like this with her boyfriend--he lived in a neighboring building, same complex, and it worked so well for them. They are still together!
Just make sure you maintain your independence. Don't become reliant on anybody. And always have a back-up plan. You never know how things can change, and you don't want to have stress upon stress upon stress that permeates all these aspects of your life because of a man. A MAN. You know?
Just some sisterly love, girly. I really hope it goes smoothly!
How am I supposed to have a hiatus with such temptations!?! ;D
I am really excited for you about your school plans, heli. And on top of that, you're moving in with K! You will need your alone time and personal space. It's not a reflection on the strength, or lack thereof, of your relationship - it's just that for human beings to flourish and stay interesting and sane, we need alone time and personal space and personal interests.
How will moving in with K and affording rent where he's living affect your school plans? (She asks on a board with loads of teachers.)
I don't know why you are on hiatus, hh, but stop!
P and I didn't live together until we were already engaged, and knew we were moving here! He moved in with me and my parents for like 6 months, because his lease was out, and we knew we were moving. I was a bit apprehensive because I am an only child (duh), and had never had any type of room mate, but it worked out well. I feel like I needed less "alone time" after he moved in...I just didn't want it anymore. I always wanted it before. Now, I never ever do. I thought he would be really messy..because he had lived on his own for years, and all his apts were always pretty gross, but he really wasn't at all. Anyway, it was only positive for us. Not that it's at all the same situation, but hopefully it will work wonderfully for you! You both just have to keep open minds, and open communication!
Oh wow, school plans? I feel out of the loop.
I'm still stunned that he suggested it only after you'd been dating....a month and a half? Two months? So soon! Like, what's the rush?
oooh heli, that's exciting for you : )
Maybe this was why you weren't meant to take that kitty-smelling flat a while back, 'someone' knew you would be moving on soon anyway ; )
What kind of place does he live in now? Exciting news whatever the answers, hope it all goes really really well for you both!
Practical matters first: I'm planning to go to uni next year and study viticulture & winemaking. Any money I can save before then will be welcome. I neeeeed to learn to live on a budget, so here I am, jumping into a flatting situation which will more or less force me to do so. But as K and I are sharing one big room, it'll only be $85 each per week including (most) bills. Compare that to your average, decent-sized room in a decent flat, which would be from $120 to $150 a week. Sweet!
My relationship with K has been interesting and, I think, unusual in some ways (timing/speed, communication..?). But, I dunno, going on my first date at age 26-27, I wouldn't expect things to follow a 'normal' pattern, if such a thing even exists, because I don't know how these things work. I'm just winging it! :) This living together thing, hey, it might not work out, but I'll be in a good position to find another place to live if need be. But we've been spending so much time together already, mostly at his flat, it might not be such a big change? Time will tell. I still feel good when we're together.
Thank you for both your concerns and well-wishing. I love how you all want to look out for me. :-* I'll keep you posted!
Do you have some kind of.....formal/written agreement? Like, is it a lease? A sub-lease? Month-to-month, so you could leave if needed? Are you replacing an old roommate? Can you terminate it at any time without bearing the responsibility of having to find a replacement roommate/sub-letter? Is the landlord aware/OK with it, and do you have that in writing? Just make sure you know what your obligations are *just in case* things were to change.
(I'm not realllllly asking to know the details, just make sure you check about all those things! The way you would do with any roommate situation, in a dating context or not.)
Definitely check out the details of the things KMK just wrote, but don't worry about it seeming faster than most relationships. If it feels right, go for it. I started dating my now husband in October & by that Christmas I was already mostly moved into his condo with him. Then that July we got a house together! Everyone moves at their own pace.
Happy for you
I didn't mean not to reply for so long, Kate. You raise good points, which I will keep in mind. It was a very simple contract which I signed for the room, but it's not a lease. The only thing it stated about time was that the rent would be higher if I were staying less than three months. I think it'll be cool. :)
Sorry I've been away for so long, just wanted to say - Heli, Yay! It all sounds wonderful, can't wait to come visit you! all the best with the next big fun step :) xo
Updates! When is the move?
I'm sad this thread is losing its members. All the key players are gone or paired. I wish I had something to add! Let's see, last weekend I got to go to NYC and spend the weekend with K and his family, which was lots of fun.
Damn it, we need someone to tell funny stories about going on dates with inadequate boys!
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