Reasons to Cry Like a Baby
Posted by hotcooknmama on Jul 05, 2011 · Member since Sep 2009 · 848 posts
("frown" didn't seem adequate)
I had to put my sweet black dog to sleep yesterday... knew it was coming-- she was 14, & had been treated for lymphoma for the past several months-- but it just never gets any easier. We were friends a long damn time, and I miss her very much. Pics & FB eulogy here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.179450365448242.45816.100001498387941.
Many of the 2-legged creatures in my3-D world fail to understand the sadness magnitude of this event... like, "that's too bad, oh well she was old"... then I kick them in the shins/ balls, and go back to bed.
Cyberhugs needed.
Yeah, someone offered to take one of the kittens before as a "barn cat," and I was like wtf, this kitten is only 8 weeks old, how is that going to work? AND they weren't doing well outside, AND this person lived in a coyote area. Yeah, I don't think that being a "barn cat" would have worked out. At least they mentioned that before I considered them as an adopter.
It's pretty disheartening. I think I'll start advertising Mimi eventually, maybe after I get back from my next rotation, since I won't be home. Meanwhile I just get sad in waves... at times I just start crying no matter what I'm doing, other times I feel very removed and used to it. It's a little closer to home than it might have been, too, because Rocco died similarly to my first cat (who died when I was 8), so it brought back a lot of bad feelings.
And, my mom already wants to get another kitten. I know it's something people have the urge to do often after losing a pet, but it just pissed me off. Give it some time, make sure your windows are secure, and then consider it. I mentioned to her about how my sister was considering coming to the shelter I'm at right now to look at the cats, and my mom was all "but if you get a male kitten I go first!!" and I'm just all WTF why would I want to give you another kitten, and right now? I didn't say that, but just that I'm not in a place where I want to go through that again...
I saw this earlier and didn't have chance to reply, fb....I am so sorry that this has happened, it's so sad. I can understand you wanting to blame you mum, but it doesn't sound like it was her fault on this one.
I hope you do hear from Flake Girl, one way or the other...and here's hoping it's good news! But to know for definite would be a relief I'm sure.
I can understand you wanting to blame you mum, but it doesn't sound like it was her fault on this one.
Yeah, I know... laying blame on someone for this type of thing is an odd temptation, yet it doesn't make anything better and doesn't work. I feel guilty too, not so much actually responsible, but the whole "what if" thing. Like what if I had kept him for another week (he had ringworm on his nose, so I was considering it), what if I could have brought her a cat trap, what if what if. Can't help but wonder the "what if"s with an accidental death.
I know fb......I still feel guilty 20 years later about not opening a window in the middle of the night to let my sisters cat in (his usul window was open) and then the next day we found him lying by a neighbours house after being hit by a car.
I still have the what ifs about it.....even though there's no way he would still be a live today anyway.
And I also understand the wanting to blame your mum....I was just saying that in this particular case doesn't sound like her fault.
I agree that it doesn't sound like your mom's fault, but I definitely understand your annoyance that she wants another one right away. I really hate the attitude that "it was just a cat (or dog/bird/etc); you can get another one." People who think pets are easily replaced shouldn't have pets in the first place.
Try not to drive yourself crazy with "what ifs". I think everyone here would agree that you were/are doing a great thing for those kittens. I'm sorry it didn't work out this time, but it wasn't because of anything you did wrong.
Not so much a reason to cry, but an update
Last week when we started this rotation (at a shelter), the staff mentioned that sometimes the stray females might turn out to be pregnant when you go to spay them, and they do spay them anyway, and the school is actually using the cat fetuses right now to study FIP. They said none of the students are expected to do that spay if they don't feel comfortable, and there are no ramifications for refusing, and that someone else will step in and do it. Anyway, though it's sad I thought it might be kind of cool to see (morbid, I know).
Last Friday, I emailed some of the other students (the ones I know) about what happened with Rocco. In one way I felt crappy about being all the crazy-cat-lady-vegan again (no one's as involved with cats as I!), but I had to tell the people who'd heard about all my feral cat stuff. Yesterday I was talking to my friend also on the rotation, and mentioned how while I thought the pregnant uterus thing was neat last week, I was really hoping it wouldn't come up for my surgeries, as now I don't think I could handle it without bawling at the sight of bringing up the pregnant uterus through the incision.
I had the first surgery today with a cat I picked out last week. She turned out to be pregnant.
Fortunately this was figured out when we tried to express her bladder before making the first cut (doing so makes the uterus easier to get to, and when we tried to manipulate her bladder, we found multiple, which turned out to be kittens). Both the tech and the supervising surgeon asked if I'd be ok to do it, and I meekly replied that no, no I don't think so, and mentioned softly to the surgeon that I lost a kitten over the weekend. They asked the other student surgeon if she wanted to switch, and that's what we did.
I didn't have to see the uterus or the fetuses, but I did start to choke up while scrubbing in for my own surgery, though I ended up being fine during the (non-pregnant) spay.
Anyway, it was probably the worst time for this to come up, but in the end I'm glad I told my classmates, and ended up telling the surgeon. The other student surgeon took my surgery without missing a beat, and it wasn't an issue at all that we were switching or anything. I take it that, when I left to go scrub in, someone told the supervising surgeon what exactly happened, since she came in quickly and told that if I needed to leave at any time, to just do it and it'll be no issue (as in, even if I needed to go take a break mid-surgery and have her finish). She also emailed me later (while I was actually still there, haha) about it too.
I'm glad that it turned out I'm working in a very supportive, understanding environment. It was terrible to find that exactly what I was afraid of actually came up, but it was great that it was made easy for me to deal with it.
Sounds like you've got some good people there, FB.
that's so good that they were really supportive of you.
For what it's worth, I do NOT think I could spay a pregnant cat in any situation, so well done you for even considering it.
that's so good that they were really supportive of you.
For what it's worth, I do NOT think I could spay a pregnant cat in any situation, so well done you for even considering it.
this exactly
Freakin' Tim Burton is going to ruin the Dark Shadows film....just like he ruined Willy Wonka.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44519024?ocid=ansmsnbc11#.TnHde-xY7EQ
You youngsters may not be all that familiar with the series, but I grew up with this and ran home from the bus stop every afternoon to watch it. I could just die!
http://bestsmileys.com/crying/2.gif
I'm with you. Sorry to all his fans, but Mr. Burton has yet to impress me. Whenever I see his name on a project I just avoid it.
Freakin' Tim Burton is going to ruin the Dark Shadows film....just like he ruined Willy Wonka.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44519024?ocid=ansmsnbc11#.TnHde-xY7EQ
You youngsters may not be all that familiar with the series, but I grew up with this and ran home from the bus stop every afternoon to watch it. I could just die!
http://bestsmileys.com/crying/2.gif
YES!!!! i hated the new willy wonka. he made it really dark
YES!!!! i hated the new willy wonka. he made it really dark
I wasn't impressed by the new Wonka either. On the other hand though, after reading everything else by Dhal as a kid, it may be closer to what he would have intended from a film.
Everything he wrote seemed light and airy much of the time, but there always seemed to be something sinister hiding just out of sight in the closet.
hmmmm now i'm interested
Everything he wrote seemed light and airy much of the time, but there always seemed to be something sinister hiding just out of sight in the closet.
Agreed. I love Roald Dhal. I can't wait til Vincent is old enough to read his books (or have them read to him).
Well, I feel confident in saying that Dan Curtis NEVER intended Barnabus Collins to look like a big doofus in clown makeup! I will not allow Tim Burton (wanker) to sully my childhood memory of Dark Shadows! Grrrrr!
Well, I feel confident in saying that Dan Curtis NEVER intended Barnabus Collins to look like a big doofus in clown makeup! I will not allow Tim Burton (wanker) to sully my childhood memory of Dark Shadows! Grrrrr!
How many girls of our age at that time were totally in lust with Barnabas? The whole generation, I think. My sister and I called it "the pillow show" because we sat in front of the TV clutching pillows for the scary bits. Which aren't that scary now that I'm 42 years older, but then, in black and white, when I was all of 7...wow!
I hear ya, Yabbit! I would have gladly let Jonathan Frid's Barnabas bite me!
Barnabas Collins
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii85/Stormflakes/Random/BarnabasCollins.jpg
NOT Barnabas Collins! He looks like some goofy mime.
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii85/Stormflakes/Random/NOTBarnabasCollins.jpg
He looks like Jacko in geisha makeup!! :boooo: :nono: :stop!:
Pages