Body type and dating
Posted by Courth on Feb 07, 2010 · Member since Apr 2007 · 3362 posts
From a purely image-related standpoint, how do you feel about dating people with a different body type than yours? I'm talking about really short people with really tall ones, heavy-set people with skinny people, etc.
I never really thought much about it until some guy was flirting with me and I found myself thinking "he is way too thin for me."
I don't know if this is a reflection of me being insecure/vain/superficial or not. What do you guys think about dating people with a different body type?
I have somehow always dated guys taller than me and not shorter than me(I'm 5'4). I once kissed a boy who was shorter than me and it was SO weird and uncomfortable bending down. Gave me a crick in my neck! Generally, though I have dated guys only a few inches taller than me.
And NO skinny guys. My build varies from athletic to average to chubbyish and I always get this horrible mental image of me snapping the skinny guy in half with my super powered thighs when I am flirting. I just can't do it. I like a man that doesn't make me feel like I could break him if we got physical. Haha.
My current BF is barely a few inches taller than me and we weigh the same. Its nice because I can wear his clothes. Although, I do feel self conscious sometimes because I am stuck with the stigma that the girl is supposed to be smaller and daintier than her man. But then my BF and I have BOTH gained weight over the last year so I do not feel too terrible. Haha. And we have both been just too lazy to get off our butts and do something about it. But we are both actually really athletic people who did sports most of their teenage years. And he's getting me into climbing. Although, since I gained weight my harness is a little bit too small! How embarrassing.
So I think it is nice to be with someone who has an athletic build (under the fat like me) and who can easily jump right back into climbing, running, swimming, and playing sports with me. I do not think I could date a muscle man who only lifted weights to get in shape. I would rather be with some who I could be active with. It is much more fun that way.
From a purely image-related standpoint, how do you feel about dating people with a different body type than yours? I'm talking about really short people with really tall ones, heavy-set people with skinny people, etc.
I never really thought much about it until some guy was flirting with me and I found myself thinking "he is way too thin for me."
I don't know if this is a reflection of me being insecure/vain/superficial or not. What do you guys think about dating people with a different body type?
Well i dont feel that i am but nearly everyone i know thinks im a "chubby chaser" . Im not really the dating type but if do go out with someone i tend to be the skinny one... but thats kind of unavoidable since im 5 foot 8 and under 100 pounds. When im with guys im basically always going to be the skinny one unless i date a 5th grader lol. My friends ex was rather thin for a guy and he was attractive but i guess i just prefer somone more.. husky? Like i said im nto really a dater so im sure the pool will expand if i change my mind. Beides ive neverbeen on a "real" date with a chick so that a whol other type to explore lol.
im 5 foot 8 and under 100 pounds
5 foot 8 and under 100 pounds?!?! I hope you're okay or you meant 4 foot 8 because that is seriously underweight!
im 5 foot 8 and under 100 pounds
5 foot 8 and under 100 pounds?!?! I hope you're okay or you meant 4 foot 8 because that is seriously underweight!
Lol im ok and yes i really am 5 foot 8. My whole family runs tiny, well untill they had kids. My family is a few inches shorter but my mom's side were all under 100 most of their lives and on my dad side about 5 foot 5 and 120 for most of their lives. Only second children and menopause killed the streak lol :p. Im just one of the rare ones i guess. Thanky ouf ort he concern though, that was very sweet!
My friends ex was rather thin for a guy and he was attractive but i guess i just prefer somone more.. husky? Like i said im nto really a dater so im sure the pool will expand if i change my mind. Beides ive neverbeen on a "real" date with a chick so that a whol other type to explore lol.
Are you bi? Are you attracted to different body shapes between girls and guys?
My fiance is the same height as I am when I wear heels ( I wear 3 inch stilletos) . I usually wear heels every day... he loves them and owuldn't trade them for anything haha
My friends ex was rather thin for a guy and he was attractive but i guess i just prefer somone more.. husky? Like i said im nto really a dater so im sure the pool will expand if i change my mind. Beides ive neverbeen on a "real" date with a chick so that a whol other type to explore lol.
Are you bi? Are you attracted to different body shapes between girls and guys?
Yes i am but i havent dated any girls yet. I dont really date persiod so having the whole coming out discussion and by the way i have a girlfriend isnt exactly on my to do list right now lol. With girls i seem to be attracted to an average or slightly larger frame maybe about 5'4" to 5'8" though i havent met many tall and Bi/Gay women so who knows maybe id like tall :). Its really weird sine i dont relaly pay too much attention to it with guys but i like women with green eyes . I also seem to like curly hair on women. Like i said i havent explored that area too throughly so its all wide open :).
I'm very, very short, so most guys look very tall compared to me. I've dated ridiculously tall guys before. I'm 5'2", and that guy was 6'3". I definitely think I look silly next to much-taller men, so I prefer guys who are short, or at least average height.
I'm slender but curvy, and the only muscle tone I have is in my legs. I guess this makes me gravitate toward guys who have a slight build and not too much muscle. I'm really freaked out by jacked bodybuilder types. Not into fat dudes either.
My current boyfriend is about 5'10", and skinny with some muscle.
I'm a little behind but I felt I needed to comment as I'm in one of those vastly different body types sort of relationships. I'm 5'2 and about 170lbs (so curvy may be an understatement) and my husband is 6'7 and around 150lbs. The height is sometimes a problem, I only come to about the middle of his chest standing next to each other. As for the weight difference, I've never really been insecure about it. We may look funny but we work it all out.
I never had a choice on dating a "tall" man or not....they are all tall, hell a 12 year old is tall to me. Being 4'11" is about as short as it gets, BF is 5'11", but him any taller would be too much taller. I think I am on my tippy toes half of everyday just reaching and doing regular things so I don't really notice I get on my toes to reach to kiss him, though he does bend his knees a bit it make it easier to reach me. I don't think I would like a guy that is on the shorter side though or too skinny.I am so petite and tiny that I don't think that protecting myself is going to be very successful, I feel like my BF can keep me safe. My cousin dated a guy that was 5'4" and really skinny, I felt like I could beat him up and that's when I figured that I could never feel safe with a runty man when I am a runt myself.
my ex husband is 5' 2 1/2" and I am 5' 8". I have never been ashamed of it . He is a good guy, we just didn't work out. People get to caught up on physical attributes, when the only thing that matters is what is on the inside.
I feel weird dating guys who are a lot skinnier than me just because I think I'd always feel fat, even though I'm not.
I totally know what you're talking about! I've dated tall lanky boys, and I've dated tall bulky ones. For some reason they've always been tall... haha. I refer to it as the ratio. If the ratio between us is comfortable I totally go for it. Weird. I thought I was the only one that did that haha.
laurel
if there that superficial that they date by chest size then your not missing out on anything. unless of course your into dating shitheads.
I think I would have had a lot of similar comments to the ones I read when I was in my 20s/very early 30s. Now that I'm in my late 30s, the main thing that attracts me is someone with a sense of humor with whom I can have an intellectual conversation and who holds their own. The only thing I can think of physically is that I'd like a person to be fit enough to do outdoor sports with me, but even if they're not, it's not that big of a deal because I'll do them with other people.
I agree that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.
You just never know.
I really just try to enjoy people for who they are as friends and then maybe go from there.
My last girlfriend is a vegan, I want to go that route it's not easy though people don't realize that for a fair amount of obese people food is an addiction, I know that's true of me, and I do care about my health, addiction is powerful no matter what form it takes, so to have a simplistic attitude about obesity I would guess 9 times out of 10 people that think like that have never struggled with weight loss. I think most people that have a problem keeping their weigh under control have tried and failed several times to lose it, if it was easy there would be no fat people, who wants that stigma, or the health issues that go with it? I become angry that so many people would pass over me based soley one my weight, if I was the exact same person with an athletic build I would do just fine I have no doubt about that.
So my last girlfriend who is a vegan and at a healthy weight, met me when I weighed 330 pounds. I was afraid to approach her in the park where I met her, I know there was no way she would be interested, I had to talk to her so I took a risk and did it. We talked for a minute or two, and then I walked away thinking I would never see her again. I saw her a week or two later, and we talked more, and not long after that we were together. She had no problem dating me, my weight was not an issue at all. She was more or less boy crazy for me, and I liked her just as much. She tried to save me all the time, and get me away from my bad eating habits. There is no question that she loved me a lot. She wants me to make some changes before she will consider taking me bake, most of the issues are not weight related, she did say she would like me to eat healthy, she worries that I'll die. So she still loves me, just not romantically anymore, and I hope I can turn that around. She will have to let go of a lot of resentments for that to happen, and she is unwilling to do that now, she keeps bringing things up that happened years ago. It seems hopelss. We have a daughter together so that's part of the reason I want things to work out, another reason is that she accepted me in a way others of body type and beauty would not. I'm short too only 5'6" about half of my girlfriends have been 5'8" or taller.
I've dated all kinds of people. I'm demisexual/gray-a, therefore, I require a connection prior to developing romantic feelings. So the feelings come with who they come with and it's not really based on looks, size, culture, etc. I've always said that I'd rather date a guy who was overweight but ate well and stayed active than a guy with a six-pack and crappy dietary habits.
I have had guys imply that I'm not their type because of my size (somewhere between extra and curvy) or because I'm Afro-American and while it's good to know up front how douchey they are, it seems kind of shallow.
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