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Anyone else married to a non-vegan/ vegetarian?

Hi,
I've been using this site for awhile, but I'm ready to use it more now, and have found it really helpful.

I've been a vegetarian most of my adult life (I cried as a kid over eating meat!), and before I lived with my husband was pretty much vegan - with absolutely no effort put into it at all!  I never even thought about it, and always felt satisfied by my food choices.  My husband is a big guy from Minnesota, and although is open and understanding of my eating habits, it just doesn't work for him personally!  Which I respect, but I really would like to have family meals now that my daughter is getting older (she is 3), and it seems like the only thing that makes us all happy is spaghetti - which is getting boring, and has also made me 15 lbs. heavier than I was pre-marriage.  Or else we just all go our own way at night, and my husband will end up fixing himself a frozen meal. 

Is there anyone else out there that has dealt with this lifestyle issue?  For the wives out there, do you and your husband cook seperate meals?  So far, this site has helped quite a bit in trying to be more creative making hearty vegan meals.  I'm just curious if anyone else has dealt with this.

Yeah we just eat separate meals, and sometimes (maybe 50% of the time) he eats what I cook. If we ever have a child I'm going to make sure the kid doesn't eat meat.

In a way it sucks, I'm soo jealous of vegan couples ESPECIALLY when the guy helps out with the cooking. :/

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I cook two seperate meals. I wasn't Vegan when I got married, and I have always cooked(I've been married 26 years), I cook meat for my husband..he has no desire to become Vegan, and sometimes he will eat what I cook if I add soy crumbles, I don't expect him to give up the lifestyle he has become use to, because I chose to become Vegan...I don't like to cook meat, and sometimes he will grab chicken out somewhere, so I don't have to cook...its a give and take situation in my house, I didn't become Vegan until my boys were already grown and out of the house, so I can't give advice there.

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i cook vegan (me and my boyfriend live together) i am still cooking the rest of the non vegan stuff we have left for him but he knows after that i won't be cooking anything but vegan food... if he wants to eat non vegan he can cook himself... it's not like what your cooking tastes gross so your husband can just learn to cook or deal and eat healthy... my boyfriend also knows when we have kids they will be raised vegan and we will eat only vegan at the house... when my boyfriend is out he can go eat and buy whatever he wants but i am the one who does all the cooking and grocery shopping so he eats what I cook him

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Which I respect, but I really would like to have family meals now that my daughter is getting older (she is 3), and it seems like the only thing that makes us all happy is spaghetti .....

Oh, but there are so many other options!  
- Pizza - with each person having their own section (my boy and I do this)
- Tacos/burritos/etc- everyone choose their fillings
- Stews and soups
- Burgers (you have a veggie burger, and he has whatever he likes)
- ANY other type of pasta with veggies, different types of sauces, whatever!
- Stir fry with the same basic stuff but you do half a batch with tofu and half with whatever he likes, change up the sauces
-Vegan mac and cheese (they might like it!)
- Anything with lots and lots of beans

You can also make all the sides vegan (mashed potatoes, vegetables, grains), and just change up the protein for him.  That's what I do for Thanksgiving.  I make the stuffing, potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie, etc--all the fixings BUT the turkey (my mom makes that).  My family eats them and loves it.  Also, for example, sometimes when I cook with my sister, I'll make lemon pepper tofu, and she'll make lemon pepper chicken, and the rest is the same.

I know there is more for you all than spaghetti!  I'm sure other people have more/better ideas too.  There are lots of threads about this topic as well.  Here, I'll go find them.

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Some threads:

Marriage and dating (omnis).... http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=25036.0
Veg significant others: http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=28881.0
What should I make for my non-veg boyfriend tonight? http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=29647.0
help! I need to cook a genuine Italian meal for my boyfriend's Italian family! http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=29224.0
Favorite thing to make when having omnis over http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=29731.0
anyone having a hard time feeding boyfriend/carnivore? http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=26755.0

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My husband is vegan, but we lived with my parents, who aren't, and I cooked for everybody and so did my mom. We're going over there for dinner tomorrow. She's making buffalo stew for them, and seitan stew for us. So, she'll just cook the stew, brown the meat and seitan separately, and heat together on two different pots. We do this w/ lots of stuff, like: oven fried chicken/tofu, green chile stew, posole, burgers, tacos, pasta salad, stroganoff, etc. Then, there are things everyone will eat. Yes, pasta, but all different kinds. Lasagna, sesame noodles, a ton. Everyone likes stirfry w/ a good sauce, and I think most everyone likes peanut sauce over rice and veggies. Good substantial salads, roasted veggie dishes, soups...

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i live with my boyfriend, who is a lacto-ovo vegetarian that has made it very clear he has no intention of going vegan. however, he supports my veganism and is open to eating vegan foods. we both work and go to school full time so i don't cook very much. our compromise right now is one day a week i cook a vegan meal that we can both enjoy, one night i cook separate meals for the two of us, and one night we go out to eat to a place both of us can be satisfied. the rest of the week we eat separately because we're not home to share meals. granted, my situation is easier because he's a vegetarian, but i think setting up some type of system where you're not always forced to cook different things might help a little.

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My husband is not vegan. He will try almost anything I cook, but I try to only make meals that he likes. Maybe once a week I will make chicken for him. He does not each much meat. So, for the most part I try to find vegan meals for dinner that he will eat. He is pretty picky, but likes almost everything I make using the crock pot. Best of luck!

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Welcome to VegWeb....great suggestions above, especially Ally.....I'm sure with some give and take eventually you'll find something that works for you.  I was vegetarian when I met my ex, so he has supportive, or we never would have entered into a relationship.  We lasted 10 years and I cooked mostly vegan but for a two year period of insanity.  Fortunately he liked what I cooked and if he wanted meat he ate it elsewhere, or cooked his own.  Being a good vegan cook helped.

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I cook vegan, my fiance eats vegan. I'm not going to be bothered cooking two meals when one involves something I'm ethically opposed to. Sometimes he'll add some cheese (like sprinkle it on pasta) otherwise, he just eats what's served.

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I cook vegan, my fiance husband eats vegan. I'm not going to be bothered cooking two meals when one involves something I'm ethically opposed to. 

this.

he was a serious carnivore when I met him, but now he frequently is disappointed if there's not enough seitan to go on his sandwiches and he has to use ham, he will ask for a nutritional yeast sauce rather than cheese, and he's even asked for tofu, which he wouldn't even touch if you paid him a few years ago.

There are so many fantastic recipes here that I'm sure with time you can find some that you both enjoy, without having to compromise your beliefs and cook meat all the time.

Good luck!!

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Thanks for these posts, they are really helpful.  My husband comes from a very traditional family where I know it's kind of frowned upon that I don't cook dinner for my husband every night (but that's a seperate issue!) but I'm just not capable of fixing meat.  It's not even like I refuse to, I just can NOT do it!- I think I would be sick!  So, reading these responses, I don't feel so bad!  And my husband is happy to cook for himself.

However, he's just not a very healthy eater a lot of the time (although he's gotten better since we've been together) - so I guess this site will help me get creative and enticing him (and my toddler) to eat healthy food, that is perhaps disguised as a guilty pleasure?  As Tweety said, being a good vegan cook will help - so I guess it starts here on vegweb!  (And the links posted!  Thanks!)

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I grew up basically in the kitchen with my mom and wasn't vegan when I got married.  My mom taught me everything about food and healthy eating and how to cook.  It is easy for me to make 2 separte meals because I do love to cook.  I find myself installing more healthy food for my H.  I do use organic and free range for meat prep.  It is hard the more I learn and grow as a vegan but I do make sure he eats very well.  I prepare all his meals and he follows strict guidelines for eating out.  I would say I try to Veganize him in a way...but slowly.  :)

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my husband is an EXTREMELY picky eater... even when it comes to meat.  basically the only kind of meat he eats these days is ground beef - burgers, spaghetti with meat sauce and meatballs, tacos, and meatball subs.  he won't try anything "ethnic" or "foreign" like thai, indian, ethiopian, or greek and the only chinese dish he'll eat is beef-and-broccoli.  he claims that the spices in indian and thai food smell too floral-y and he's "NOT going to eat something that smells like flowers".  he's a very "plain" food guy.  he'd even rather just have vanilla ice cream over any flavor available.  when it comes to baked goods and sweets, though, ANYTHING is fair game. 

as far as eating together, i do the cooking... but i refuse to cook meat.  if he wants meat, he has to go out to get it.  lunches and dinners were a bit easier when i was just vegetarian (mac'n'cheese, alfredo noodles, cheesy rice dishes, etc.), but it's a bit trickier now that i'm vegan since he refuses to try any of the "cheeze" recipes i've made.  i've come up with maybe ten different dishes that he's hopped on-board with - some things that i never would have imagined him TRYING  let alone liking or requesting -, but he refuses to even try a bite of most things.  for example, he refuses to try any kind of veggie burger (pre-made frozen OR homemade).  he detests "regular" lunch meat/deli slices, so he has no interest in veggie deli slices (i.e. - tofurkey slices) for sandwiches.  and seitan... forget about it!  he warmed up to some things over the years, so perhaps there's hope yet. 

as for kids, we don't have any yet, but i'm currently pregnant.  he agreed with me when we first started seeing each other that we would raise our kid(s) vegetarian... although now i'm insistent on changing that to "vegan".  :)

good luck with everything and welcome to the forums! 

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wow ur husband sounds like a real pain... what's so bad with trying new things? he sounds like the most stubborn person ever!

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My wife is a non vegan, although she does not eat a lot of meat.. She really has come along way and hopefully she will become more vegetarian in the future and maybe even Vegan! Heres hoping!.. Great Forum BTW.. Hello!

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Hi, We have a blended family so 7 of us total I make my dinners separate and usually I eat the same soup over again because it's so hard cooking for everyone My husband is slowly crossing over my step son however has never eaten anything green
and since coming to live with us I now make him juice everyday. my two year old daughter is vegan yea!!!My 10 year old is leaning to vegetarianism .When I make sauces that require meat I never even mention that it is vegan They don't even know!!But it wears on me running a large family and still cooking meals that have chicken in it really bothers me!!

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ya that sounds like a lot of work :( i say if they want to eat chicken and meat they can cook it up themselves u shouldn't have to cook up so many different things!

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My husband has been vegetarian since our early dating days. I'm transitioning into veganism and he has 0 interest. He will eat what I cook for him and since I do most of the food shopping we are heading towards eating 100% vegan at home. He loves the vegan meals I cook but once he leaves the house all bets are off. It is often difficult but I'm still hopeful he will see the "light" and go vegan with me!

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good news everybody... my boy is now trying his hardest to be vegetarian after seeing the video hespedal posted! wish he could take the plunge entirely... i know i will convince him eventually :)

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